Newly-divorced woman picking up the pieces from a cheating husband

Number of View: 1245 Hi, I feel for you as I am in a similar situation. My husband has an emotional affair with a woman and I was devastated because we were happy together, which he also agreed with, and he also initially begged to return to normalcy. However, after one day, he told me he can’t settle down and wish to be free, and requested to separate. I was like you, lost, as he earns much more than I do and he was my source of happiness. Right now, I am trying my best to accept the fact and move on and it is NOT easy. It is super tough. The sadness comes in waves and I find myself battling it as it comes. Friends help a lot and family will never forsake you. Since he has given up, the marriage can’t work with one person trying. I suggest that you go to both families and make it clear. It does not matter if your family hates him after this. Reason being, if ever you two end up together again, him working hard to gain back their liking is only right. Learn to protect yourself and love yourself. Try …

Continue reading »

Wife feeling the hurt from a cheating husband and contemplating divorce

Number of View: 1446 Hi Gilbert I just learned husband was having affair since September 2016. He now wants a second chance but will not do any of the things I have asked him to do. Like counselling, anger management course and giving me access to his phone and PC. I have lost all trust in him. And do not trust him anymore. I cannot stop thinking of the images of the two of them. The scheming. The lies. The way he treated me. I’m totally devastated. My colleagues and family have been supportive. I know the decision lies with me. It’s so hard to deal with the pain. Vivian

Continue reading »

Husband in pain after discovery of affair from wife

Number of View: 1617  Hi Gilbert, I think I really need help. Now I’m feeling lost, shocked, depressed, confused, just so much in pain. A few days ago my wife confessed to me that she cheated with a colleague last year. I kind of suspected the whole of last year when she suddenly changed, I thought they were only hanging out but I didn’t expect it to go that far. I’m initiating divorce even though I still love her so much (it’s a mixed feeling of love and hate) as I’m not able to accept this reality. To be honest I do feel hopeless, my world is all gone…what can I do to get better? Thank you! Jack Editor’s note: We are extending our counselling support to the writer.

Continue reading »

Depressed father seeking advice on divorce proceedings

Number of View: 1221 Dear Gilbert, My wife and I have being living in the same house but slept separately for more than 5 years due to some reasons. My wife bought a new house (I was not aware at all) about 2 years ago. In late 2016, she shifted with the children to the new house. And not long after CNY, she called me that she wanted a divorce for some “reasons”.  I refused and tried to talk to her but she always turned aggressive on the phone and refused to talk and asked me to talk her lawyer. I don’t want a divorce as I still have feelings for her but she said she has no feeling for me anymore. That makes me very very sad.  A few days ago, my two teenage daughters texted me something about my wife’s behavior with a man.  This man has been very close with my wife since 5 years ago. As a matter of fact, it is because of him, I confronted my wife and she wanted a divorce then.  After the incident, we started to sleep separately and never talked. I blame myself for the high pride and I regretted …

Continue reading »

10 Signs He Is Interested in You

Number of View: 314 There he is, the man of your dreams. He’s sitting across from you at the coffee shop or standing at the opposite side of the bar. His eyes meet yours, a quick glance, and then it’s back to his drink. Was he giving you a signal? It’s not easy to decipher the mind of the modern male, but learning to decode what his nonverbal communication truly means is an invaluable asset in the game of love. So in order to be sure you’re reading him right, look out for the following 10 signs. Leaning into Love: If a guy is interested in you, you’ll find that his body will lean forward toward yours. This move can be either very subtle or extremely “in your face” (literally!). It’s his way of letting you know he’d like to get even closer. Once his interest is piqued, you’ll both find it hard to pull away! Keeping It Even Closer: A vital aspect of the physical nature of romance is reciprocity. Translation: meeting his advances with your own. This not only signals your own interest, but also serves to keep his. The Eyes Have It: We’ve all heard the proverb, …

Continue reading »

Dr Phil: Life after divorce

Number of View: 345 Life after Divorce Divorce is a major life change that can leave a person reeling. Suddenly being on your own to deal with issues such as money, children, career changes and downsizing the family home can seem overwhelming. Dr. Phil and Libby Gill, author of the book Traveling Hopefully: How to Lose Your Family Baggage and Jumpstart Your Life offer advice on how to begin to live life after divorce. If you’re having trouble letting go: • There is life after this marriage As hard as it is to believe right now, one day this marriage will just be something you did once. You’ll go on and you’ll have what you create. • Get out of denial Ask yourself: Do you really want this marriage, or are you hanging onto it out of fear? If being alone is a scarier thought than staying in a broken marriage, you’re letting fear make your decisions. Are you mourning the loss of what your marriage was, or what you thought marriage would be? • Don’t burn daylight Grieving doesn’t have a time frame on it, but life does. Whether you realize it or not, life is marching on. There …

Continue reading »

Wife enquiring on legal help to file for divorce based on adultery

Number of View: 1100 Hi Gilbert, I chanced upon your site when I am researching on divorce. I will like to seek any legal advice, if possible. My husband and I were married for many years, with two kids. Recently, I discovered smses detailing him making bookings for prostitutes. As I could not send the messages directly to my HP, I took photos of the smses. Subsequently, I watsapp the images to my hub to confront him, he replied with “What do you want?” In addition, we have been sleeping separately (in different rooms) in the same house since few years ago. I consulted a lawyer. He said that I can file based on unreasonable association with P and 3-year separation.  And, according to him, the evidences are quite strong as he did not deny, and that is considered “silent admission”. Now, some people are telling me otherwise, and that the evidence may not be acceptable. And if that is the case, basing on the 3-year  separation, I will not be able to file if my hub does not consent, and I need wait for another year. I’ve tried talking to my hub regarding the divorce. There is no love between us but he is refusing to talk …

Continue reading »

How To Heal the Pain of Divorce

Number of View: 707 By Cathy Meyer, About.com Guide Everyone who goes through a divorce experiences pain and grief, but some may be more profoundly affected. Some do not cope as well as others. Divorce can be a traumatic experience and healing from it takes time. There are some ways you can help yourself move through the healing process. Difficulty: Hard Time Required: Depends on the person Here’s How: Develop a support system. Find those friends and family who will be there to see you through the times when you need a shoulder to cry on or someone to listen. A clergyman or professional counselor may be helpful, as you can talk openly and confidentially. After a divorce, your true friends won’t be hard to recognize, because they will be willing to help you adjust to the changes. Seek a divorce recovery group in your community, so that you can interact with others going through the same emotions. Seek professional help if needed. Some people get stuck in the pain of divorce, and may experience depression, whether mild or severe. In that case, it is imperative to seek professional help, through your family doctor or a licensed therapist. Don’t try …

Continue reading »

Newly-married woman facing eventual divorce from a cheating spouse

Number of View: 1789 Hi, Stumbled upon your website while searching for a support group where I can fit in, I know I don’t quite fit the category just yet. But my husband is having an affair and has repeatedly expressed his wish to leave/divorce me for her. Even though he has yet to file for divorce, I think there is unlikely anything I can do to avoid that eventuality. I am ashamed to face my family, I fear that I have put too much into my relationship all these years at the expense of my family. The failure of this relationship would just further disappoint them and it will cause them to view my husband negatively from hereon. I’m afraid that this may have a negative impact on our relationship if we were to ever continue. Things are just going too fast for me to keep up. I don’t want to give up but it feels hopeless no matter what I do. I’m not even sure if there is anything I can do. Perhaps I’m in denial, trying to fix things by myself. I know that just me feeling all this alone would not work, I know that perhaps …

Continue reading »

New family harassed by Malaysian ex-wife in bitter divorce

Number of View: 1162 Greetings to you sir. I came across your site Steady Marriages and find it very helpful and hopeful. We would like to ask for your kind advice quite urgently as we are struggling to free ourselves from this trouble that has been dragging and affecting our lives pretty badly since 2013. As we are still just beginning to stand on our own feet i.e getting a stable permanent job, we are still nowhere able to afford a lawyer to fight against a case of an ex-wife who is only a foreign PR and has custody of 2 kids (hiding one child in Malaysia since birth in 2012) and hogging on to matrimonial flat accumulating instalment repayments and interests since November 2014. Changed all locks to doors and gate knowing that having an active PPO against him would make him helpless to have access to his own flat. Smartly and discreetly refusing to cooperate with the selling procedure despite courts order to sell the matrimonial flat (which we do not understand why there is no given enforcement on any timeline). Same time it seems she is exploiting and taking advantage of Women’s Chapter to her advantage and …

Continue reading »