Depressed father seeking advice on divorce proceedings

Number of View: 1180 Dear Gilbert, My wife and I have being living in the same house but slept separately for more than 5 years due to some reasons. My wife bought a new house (I was not aware at all) about 2 years ago. In late 2016, she shifted with the children to the new house. And not long after CNY, she called me that she wanted a divorce for some “reasons”.  I refused and tried to talk to her but she always turned aggressive on the phone and refused to talk and asked me to talk her lawyer. I don’t want a divorce as I still have feelings for her but she said she has no feeling for me anymore. That makes me very very sad.  A few days ago, my two teenage daughters texted me something about my wife’s behavior with a man.  This man has been very close with my wife since 5 years ago. As a matter of fact, it is because of him, I confronted my wife and she wanted a divorce then.  After the incident, we started to sleep separately and never talked. I blame myself for the high pride and I regretted …

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10 Signs He Is Interested in You

Number of View: 259 There he is, the man of your dreams. He’s sitting across from you at the coffee shop or standing at the opposite side of the bar. His eyes meet yours, a quick glance, and then it’s back to his drink. Was he giving you a signal? It’s not easy to decipher the mind of the modern male, but learning to decode what his nonverbal communication truly means is an invaluable asset in the game of love. So in order to be sure you’re reading him right, look out for the following 10 signs. Leaning into Love: If a guy is interested in you, you’ll find that his body will lean forward toward yours. This move can be either very subtle or extremely “in your face” (literally!). It’s his way of letting you know he’d like to get even closer. Once his interest is piqued, you’ll both find it hard to pull away! Keeping It Even Closer: A vital aspect of the physical nature of romance is reciprocity. Translation: meeting his advances with your own. This not only signals your own interest, but also serves to keep his. The Eyes Have It: We’ve all heard the proverb, …

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Dr Phil: Life after divorce

Number of View: 269 Life after Divorce Divorce is a major life change that can leave a person reeling. Suddenly being on your own to deal with issues such as money, children, career changes and downsizing the family home can seem overwhelming. Dr. Phil and Libby Gill, author of the book Traveling Hopefully: How to Lose Your Family Baggage and Jumpstart Your Life offer advice on how to begin to live life after divorce. If you’re having trouble letting go: • There is life after this marriage As hard as it is to believe right now, one day this marriage will just be something you did once. You’ll go on and you’ll have what you create. • Get out of denial Ask yourself: Do you really want this marriage, or are you hanging onto it out of fear? If being alone is a scarier thought than staying in a broken marriage, you’re letting fear make your decisions. Are you mourning the loss of what your marriage was, or what you thought marriage would be? • Don’t burn daylight Grieving doesn’t have a time frame on it, but life does. Whether you realize it or not, life is marching on. There …

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Wife enquiring on legal help to file for divorce based on adultery

Number of View: 1059 Hi Gilbert, I chanced upon your site when I am researching on divorce. I will like to seek any legal advice, if possible. My husband and I were married for many years, with two kids. Recently, I discovered smses detailing him making bookings for prostitutes. As I could not send the messages directly to my HP, I took photos of the smses. Subsequently, I watsapp the images to my hub to confront him, he replied with “What do you want?” In addition, we have been sleeping separately (in different rooms) in the same house since few years ago. I consulted a lawyer. He said that I can file based on unreasonable association with P and 3-year separation.  And, according to him, the evidences are quite strong as he did not deny, and that is considered “silent admission”. Now, some people are telling me otherwise, and that the evidence may not be acceptable. And if that is the case, basing on the 3-year  separation, I will not be able to file if my hub does not consent, and I need wait for another year. I’ve tried talking to my hub regarding the divorce. There is no love between us but he is refusing to talk …

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How To Heal the Pain of Divorce

Number of View: 621 By Cathy Meyer, About.com Guide Everyone who goes through a divorce experiences pain and grief, but some may be more profoundly affected. Some do not cope as well as others. Divorce can be a traumatic experience and healing from it takes time. There are some ways you can help yourself move through the healing process. Difficulty: Hard Time Required: Depends on the person Here’s How: Develop a support system. Find those friends and family who will be there to see you through the times when you need a shoulder to cry on or someone to listen. A clergyman or professional counselor may be helpful, as you can talk openly and confidentially. After a divorce, your true friends won’t be hard to recognize, because they will be willing to help you adjust to the changes. Seek a divorce recovery group in your community, so that you can interact with others going through the same emotions. Seek professional help if needed. Some people get stuck in the pain of divorce, and may experience depression, whether mild or severe. In that case, it is imperative to seek professional help, through your family doctor or a licensed therapist. Don’t try …

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Newly-married woman facing eventual divorce from a cheating spouse

Number of View: 1730 Hi, Stumbled upon your website while searching for a support group where I can fit in, I know I don’t quite fit the category just yet. But my husband is having an affair and has repeatedly expressed his wish to leave/divorce me for her. Even though he has yet to file for divorce, I think there is unlikely anything I can do to avoid that eventuality. I am ashamed to face my family, I fear that I have put too much into my relationship all these years at the expense of my family. The failure of this relationship would just further disappoint them and it will cause them to view my husband negatively from hereon. I’m afraid that this may have a negative impact on our relationship if we were to ever continue. Things are just going too fast for me to keep up. I don’t want to give up but it feels hopeless no matter what I do. I’m not even sure if there is anything I can do. Perhaps I’m in denial, trying to fix things by myself. I know that just me feeling all this alone would not work, I know that perhaps …

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New family harassed by Malaysian ex-wife in bitter divorce

Number of View: 1110 Greetings to you sir. I came across your site Steady Marriages and find it very helpful and hopeful. We would like to ask for your kind advice quite urgently as we are struggling to free ourselves from this trouble that has been dragging and affecting our lives pretty badly since 2013. As we are still just beginning to stand on our own feet i.e getting a stable permanent job, we are still nowhere able to afford a lawyer to fight against a case of an ex-wife who is only a foreign PR and has custody of 2 kids (hiding one child in Malaysia since birth in 2012) and hogging on to matrimonial flat accumulating instalment repayments and interests since November 2014. Changed all locks to doors and gate knowing that having an active PPO against him would make him helpless to have access to his own flat. Smartly and discreetly refusing to cooperate with the selling procedure despite courts order to sell the matrimonial flat (which we do not understand why there is no given enforcement on any timeline). Same time it seems she is exploiting and taking advantage of Women’s Chapter to her advantage and …

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Recently-divorced mum worries about losing her HDB flat and feeling depressed

Number of View: 1436 Hi Gilbert, I am feeling so hopeless in my current situation. I have been diagnosed with major depression this year.  I need to go for regular blood test and on long-term medication for rheumatoid arthritis. I had a total thyroidectomy 2 years ago which I need to be on long term medication too after the surgery. I am a divorced woman with a 13-year-old son. Currently living in Punggol. My flat is still a joint tenancy with my ex-spouse. I have been trying to appeal for waiver of credit assessment for my HLE in order to take over the flat and I had went to look for MP to write in letter of appeal. But I still can’t get a HLE. Meaning I won’t be able to take over the flat and I and my son might be homeless soon if my ex-spouse takes legal action against me. I have included all my correspondence with HDB and my divorce certificate. I am also seeing a social worker in Punggol. Please I really need some help. Taking over the flat is my only dream now. I need to take over there flat if not I will be …

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Should You Change Your Sexual Habits for Your Partner?

Number of View: 306 Navigating the complexities of sex and relationships     by Amy Muise, Ph.D Should You Change Your Sexual Habits for Your Partner?       How sexual compromise can enhance relationship satisfaction Published on January 25, 2013 by Amy Muise, Ph.D in The Passion Paradox Over the course of a romantic relationship, there are bound to be times when your sexual interests diverge from your partner’s interests. Perhaps you enjoy having sex at night, but your partner prefers morning sex. Maybe you desire sex about once or twice a week, but your partner would like to have sex once or twice a day. Or maybe you fantasize about being tied to the bedpost, but bondage is not one of your partner’s sexual fantasies. Although a satisfying sex life is an important part of overall relationship happiness,1,2 sex can also be one of the most challenging issues to negotiate in a romantic relationship.2 Romantic partners may disagree on when to have sex, how often to have it, and what those sexual activities involve. If romantic partners have differing sexual interests, what can they do? A recent study suggests that, at times, changing sexual habits (or making sexual transformations) for a …

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Woman stressed out by divorce proceedings and requesting for support

Number of View: 980 Dear Gilbert, I filed for divorce recently. I’m going through a very difficult time mentally, emotionally, physically and financially. I feel so overwhelmed and distressed from everything. I chanced upon your website when I was searching for support groups. I’m keen in joining the 5-week support group program that commences in December. I’m available to commit myself to the 5-week program. However, at the moment I’m financially very constrained and have not received my salaries due to me as well. I will be unable to afford the $50/hr for the initial counselling appointment. Nevertheless, I want to strengthen myself and meet people that can relate to me and my current situation. May I know what is the next step to the beginning? Pamela Editor’s note: We have registered the writer into our 16th batch of support group commencing on 17th Dec (Sat) at 230pm.

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