Husband in pain after discovery of affair from wife

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Hi Gilbert,

I think I really need help.

Now I’m feeling lost, shocked, depressed, confused, just so much in pain.

A few days ago my wife confessed to me that she cheated with a colleague last year.

I kind of suspected the whole of last year when she suddenly changed, I thought they were only hanging out but I didn’t expect it to go that far.

I’m initiating divorce even though I still love her so much (it’s a mixed feeling of love and hate) as I’m not able to accept this reality.

To be honest I do feel hopeless, my world is all gone…what can I do to get better?

Thank you!


Editor’s note: We are extending our counselling support to the writer.


  1. Love?? dun bother urself with it..either u leave, get a life…or stay n forget the whole shit..i chose to leave after 9 years in the relationship…guess what, I AM HAPPIER…

  2. Custody is based on best interests of children. The ages of the children are not stated. If they are big enough they can have a say. The factors to consider are who has been looking after the children and who is in the best position to look after the children after divorce.

    Access to the children is best agreed between the parties.

  3. Jack can get a divorce based on wife’s adultery but the court will need evidence. Wife’s admission is acceptable. As I am also a healer I can help with his depression.

  4. Affair is serious and hurtful but it does not mean the marriage is over. It is an indication that something went wrong and urging both parties to act. The action could be ending or saving it by working on it. If you still have mixed feelings, dont make any decision yet. If both of you want to save it, make some efforts to try working. A good marital counselling is important at this stage. All the best!

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