Divorce is the legal separation of two people who must break their vows because they no longer want the marriage to continue. In the U.S. at the beginning of the 21st century there was about one divorce for every two marriages. The rate of divorce in the U.S. is greater than it is in most other Western countries, though divorce rates climbed in those countries in the last decades of the 20th century (Britannica). This trend is common in our society.
In contrast, some believe that divorce is decreasing because of the many resources available today. These resources help make couples’ marriages stronger and help people find mates that match their personality and interests. As technology develops, more resources are available to assist people with relationship troubles. A benefit from the technological world we live in today is the Internet. A reliable source for people seeking a mate would be sites such as E-Harmony which is created by doctors who specialize in the field of human relations.The company was founded by America’s most well known relationship expert, best-selling author and clinical psychologist Dr. Neil Clark Warren (Company Overview). E-Harmony provides a new service called E-Harmony Marriage that works towards making marriages stronger, healthier, and happier. Currently, there are people working towards fixing and building healthy and effective relationships. Therefore, there are many different resources available to keep a marriage stable.
Even though there is assistance available today, there is a significant increase in divorce now compared to divorce in the past. Compared to marriages in the past, there are more divorces now than in the past, because in earlier times, it was considered wrong to get a divorce. Divorce was viewed as something socially unacceptable so people in failing marriages would just have to make it work. A man or woman in a marriage may have another lover but still stayed in their marriage to keep the title. Divorce is common in our society today.
First of all, lack of communication is the main cause of divorce. Communication is the revealing of thoughts or ideas and is an important aspect of all relationships. If effective communication is not present in a marriage, then the relationship will suffer and slowly weaken. To have an effective communication with one’s spouse, one should try to be as open as possible by revealing all emotions and feelings. A result of a failed marriage could be divorce. Divorce is common because there is a lack of effective communication.
On the other hand, one might believe that a lack of communication is not the reason why divorce is common. The lack of communication in a relationship cannot be the single reason why marriages fail. All couples are not the same. It could be possible that they have good communication but have different interests. Different interests between couples could make them grow apart. Additionally, divorce depends on the situation the couple is facing. For example, the marriage could fail because of one being unfaithful. With that being said, it would take more than one cause such as of lack of communication to lead to a couple to get a divorce.
Secondly, early marriages and unexpected pregnancies could be the cause of divorce. Many early marriages are determined by the birth of an unexpected child. The sudden amount of responsibility placed on the new parents could cause many problems with the relationship, which could then lead to divorce. In the case that they are young, the new parent might be forced to leave school and work more to produce sufficient funds needed for the family to survive. The interruption of one’s school could cause disappointment in the student and the student’s family. Because the marriage was unplanned, there will be many obstacles that the newlyweds will face that they probably would not have expected. Teen pregnancies are not uncommon in our society. As a result of these early pregnancies, premature marriages occur. Because of this information, one would believe that young marriages and unexpected pregnancies are the reasons why divorce is common.
On the other side, a child’s existence could have the power to bring two people together and make a relationship stronger. The amount of responsibility the parents are faced with would force them to mature and work together. A child could bring a sense of pride, happiness, and achievement to a parent. If a couple has a new responsibility that they both feel is precious, then it is possible that they could become closer by raising their offspring together.
Thirdly, a drastic career change could be the reason why divorce is common. It is possible to feel this way because having a career is a very important aspect of our culture. One works towards the goal of eventually having a career as soon as the first kindergarten class. Relationships, on the other hand, happen eventually as time passes. The main structure of our American culture is to receive an education first. Once married, career goals may change due to a change of priorities. Having children also affects career goals. If one spouse has a drastic career change, it could affect the relationship. For example, there is a family consisting of a married couple and two children. The husband is a children’s book writer who gets discovered by movie producers who want to turn his books into movies. Because of this, he gets recognized in the entertainment industry as a writer. He starts touring around big cities and writing specifically for movies. As a result, he is away from home for up to weeks at a time leaving his wife at home alone with the children. The wife might seem happy with her husband’s sudden career change because she is trying to be supportive. Over time, she might develop a deep sense of loneliness and longing for her husband. The wife could develop a different relationship with another person who is more available. If a career can separate a married couple periods of time, it could lead to many problems within the relationship that could eventually lead to a divorce.
One may argue that a career change could promote a stronger marriage. A career change could be a good for a relationship. It could bring in more money which would take away some financial stress within the household. Also, a career change could promote a positive change in social status. If one looks at the reason why a separation due to a career change could lead to divorce, it will all lead back to the fact that there was poor communication. If they were to effectively communicate during the time spent away from each other, then they would already know how one another is feeling. Minor adjustments to the situation can be made on behalf of the marriage. The husband can look at his life and try and find a balance between his career and his marriage. It is not the separation that ruins the marriage. There are many long distance relationships around the world. It is not impossible because it has been done before. It could take trust, honesty, and patience for the relationship to be successful. The career change does not cause the divorce. The lack of communication between the two people disabled them and could not bring them together. And as a result, the relationship could fall in many ways and then lead to divorce.
Lastly, different backgrounds and upbringing could be a reason for divorce. One’s past shapes how he or she thinks, acts, and responds to situations. A marriage consists of two different people with two different backgrounds. They could have been raised completely different. This could cause problems during times of decision making. For example, if the husband came from a poor family which had to struggle for everything, and the mother came from a wealthy family, then they might have different ways that they want to raise their children. The father may want to be tougher on the children and enforce strict rules on them. This is the way he was raised by his parents. The mother may be less strict and have completely different views on how to raise children. As a result, each parent may struggle to have their own way over the children. It would turn into a fight over power. It could eventually lead to divorce and separation of the children between the parents. This could have devastating affects on the children as well.
Although difference in background may cause disagreements between parents, it should actually force the parents to collaborate to find what is best for their children. The parents could combine views and work together as a team to do the best job they can. This could strengthen the marriage. The parents’ difference in background is also good for the children because they get more than one perspective and could possibly get exposed to more than one culture. The only way background difference could lead to divorce is if the couple does not communicate properly and then it could eventually destroy the relationship.
In conclusion, there are many reasons why people get divorced, but it is common because there is a lack of communication. Lack of communication is the cause of many reasons for divorce. Communication is important in relationships as well as every aspect of society. It is necessary to maintain a certain level of civility. It is not always simple. If people would take the time to learn how to effectively communicate with their spouses, or just in general, then many conflicts would be resolved. There are certain skills needed to be able to hold a decent conversation without arguing and creating a conflict. Patience and understanding are important.