10 myths about sexless marriage

Number of View: 644 Myths About Sexless Marriage Sexless couples rarely or never have sex. Some sexless couples still occasionally have sex. For instance, one couple had sex almost every day when first married, and could hardly keep their hands off each other. After several years, they settled into a pattern of sex once or twice a month. Sometimes they went three or four months without sex, and when they had sex it was passionless and mechanical. Although they usually both had orgasms, there was no eroticism, passion, kindness, or generosity to it. As far as they were concerned, their relationship was sexless and barren. Sexless couples are likely to be older. Although frequency of sex declines as people get older, many young couples do not have sex. Because of stereotypes that young couples have sex all the time, they silently suffer thinking they are really screwed up and their relationship is doomed in future years. Most people believe adolescence is the sexual prime of life, but this refers to genital response. Many people are much better in bed when they get older. Becoming more comfortable with your sexuality, your body-and accepting yourself in general-really helps. It turns out that …

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Welcome to the new Singapore – public nudity

Number of View: 828The recent surge of nudity, streaking and promiscuity, signs of a more liberal generation, has everyone scratching their heads in this once prudish city. A USEFUL message to greet the New Year today in Singapore could have read something like this: “Caution! Visitors to this island are advised to be careful of a mysterious syndrome that drives victims to shed off all their clothes in public.” It could be timely preparation, given the recent surge of such happenings as a more liberal generation leaves its mark on this once prudish city. The government had long hoped for a new vibrancy to Singapore into the ranks of a top world city. Well, in recent years, it has got a little of that wish – but not all to its liking. As promiscuity rises, one phenomenon has almost everyone scratching his head. Amidst reports of a teenage girl selling her soiled underwear online and a young trainee teacher having sex with a 12 and a 15-year-old girl, interest centred on public nudity, including the following cases: – * A man in his 20s went buck naked into a fast-food outlet to buy coffee (his custom was refused); * A …

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Sexless Marriages

Number of View: 822 Intimacy & Sex Dr. Laura Berman Did you know that nearly one in five marriages is considered sexless? A sexless marriage is defined as sex no more than 10 times per year.Not surprisingly, most sexless marriages feature a man who wants more sex and a woman who doesn’t. There are certainly exceptions, but it’s mostly men who are feeling left in the dust sexually. And it usually happens after kids. Here is an excerpt from a funny, but heart-breaking, post on Craig’s List: “Hey married ladies, answer a question for me — is it really such a chore to have sex with your husband? I’m one of the many husbands (possibly wives) out there who’s kids tripped over the cord on the sex machine, ripping the plug right out of the wall. That humming and sputtering sound you hear is the machine slowly grinding it’s way to a gear freezing halt, its future destination: the appliance graveyard under the sink where the Salad Shooter currently resides. Somebody help me out here — what do you do when your partner in life is great in every other way, but is a passion(less) fish in the bedroom? While, …

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Let’s talk about SEX really

Number of View: 527 Aug 21, 2010 sex education Let’s talk about SEX really Aishah, 15, has been taught by her teachers how to say no to sex, how to avoid getting into compromising situations with boys, and the dangers of sexually transmitted infections. There is just one problem: She doesn’t know what sex is. She is the product of Singapore’s sexuality education programme which, according to a poll of 300 teenagers by The Straits Times, appears to be falling behind in giving answers to their burning questions. By Tan Hui Yee, Correspondent & Eisen Teo TEEN-YEAR-OLD Aishah sits ramrod straight as she rattles off what she learnt in class last week. ‘We were told to think of different ways to say no to sex,’ she says brightly. ‘We had to think of alternatives to being alone with our boyfriends.’ What are the various ways to say no, you ask. ‘Our answers were all the same. ‘No’ means ‘no’ lah,’ she replies with a steely glint in her eye. But her face crinkles with confusion when you ask her what she knows about sex. ‘My teacher never said anything (about it),’ she admits softly. In contrast, it seems, her primary …

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Overcoming the scourge of AIDS

Number of View: 258 Overcoming the scourge of AIDS China had 319,877 reported cases of HIV and AIDS as of last October, with 49,845 having already died of AIDS-related disease since 1985. -China Daily/ANN Mon, Jul 26, 2010 China Daily/Asia News Network By Guo Anfei in Yunnan and He Na in Beijing Ruan Najin’s eyes light up every time the topic of conversation turns to marriage and children. Now 23, she plans to have both in just a few years. Yet, after seven years as a prostitute in Southwest China, her exuberant hope also helps hide a real fear that all her dreams will be destroyed by AIDS. “Girls like us usually go home for husbands at the age of 25 or 26,” said Ruan, who comes from Vietnam but would only give her Chinese name. “I plan to stay here two or three more years to save money and then go back to find an honest man. “My biggest concern, though, is AIDS. I haven’t had a hospital checkup yet as I’m too scared.” According to HIV/AIDS Asia Regional Program (HAARP), Ruan is among at least 700 prostitutes working in Hekou, a town in Yunnan province on the banks …

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No sex please, we’re middle class

Number of View: 304 Jul 2, 2010 No sex please, we’re middle class By Camille Paglia   WILL women soon have a Viagra of their own? Although a Food and Drug Administration advisory panel recently rejected an application to market the drug flibanserin in the United States for women with low libido, it endorsed the potential benefits and urged further research. Several pharmaceutical companies are reported to be well along in the search for such a drug. The implication is that a new pill, despite its unforeseen side effects, is necessary to cure the sexual malaise that appears to have sunk over the US. But to what extent do these complaints about sexual apathy reflect a medical reality, and how much do they actually emanate from the anxious, overachieving, white upper middle class? In the 1950s, female ‘frigidity’ was attributed to social conformism and religious puritanism. But since the sexual revolution of the 1960s, American society has become increasingly secular, with a media environment drenched in sex. The real culprit, originating in the 19th century, is bourgeois propriety. As respectability became the central middle-class value, censorship and repression became the norm. Victorian prudery ended the humorous sexual candour of both …

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Ten Things Women Forget to Do During Sex

Number of View: 454 Ten Things Women Forget to Do During Sex By: The Frisky (View Profile)  When it comes to men and sex, I’ve noticed that special requests usually come along the lines of an instant upgrade: if I’m giving a hand job, they ask for a blowjob, and if I’m giving a blowjob, well, why not full-on sex? That’s simple enough for me to handle if it makes sexytime shine. But we’re all about equality here at TheFrisky.com and it wouldn’t be very egalitarian of us to hinthintHINT to our dudes with our Ten Things Men Forget to Do During Sex list  without engaging in a little self-improvement ourselves. After the jump, we asked a few men—who, let it be known, all said “Don’t forget to touch our balls!”—to help us out. 1. Vocalize your enjoyment! Listening to a woman bellow in ecstasy “I’m … COOOOOOOMING!” is as good, if not better, than the sex itself. 2. … but don’t forget that other people in house/apartment nearby will hear you, especially if he is awkward about that sort of thing. 3. NO. TEETH. (What are you, eighteen? You should know that by now, really.) 4. Offering to let him …

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When Sex Leaves the Marriage (well.blogs.nytimes.com)

Number of View: 489 Why do some couples sizzle while others fizzle? Social scientists are studying no-sex marriages for clues about what can go wrong in relationships.   Married men and women, on average, have sex with their spouse 58 times a year, a little more than once a week, according to data collected from the General Social Survey, which has tracked the social behaviors of Americans since 1972. But there are wide variations in that number. Married people under 30 have sex about 111 times a year. And it’s estimated that about 15 percent of married couples have not had sex with their spouse in the last six months to one year, according to Denise A. Donnelly, associate professor of sociology at Georgia State University, who has studied sexless marriage.   I recently spoke with Professor Donnelly about how much researchers really understand about no-sex marriages. Here’s our conversation.    Is there any indication that the sexless marriage is becoming more common? Or are we just hearing about it more? I suspect that we just hear more about it. Back in the days before reliable birth control, having a sexless marriage was one way of limiting family size. Those …

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How to cure your sexless marriage (fixyoursexlessmarriage.com)

Number of View: 561 How to Cure Your Sexless Marriage   According to surveys, more than 18% of married couples are living in sexless marriages. That might look like a small number, but in reality, this translates to over 20 million couples. Look at it that way and you can imagine the magnitude of the problem.    Many people think that there is absolutely no sex in a sexless relationship. But this is a misconception. In reality, sex may not be completely absent. Some therapists even put a minimum number for a marriage to be called sexless, the most common statistic being fewer than 10 times a year. But for some people, even twice a week may seem insufficient. What people want varies from person to person. So, there can be no rules regarding this. If you feel like you’re not getting enough physical intimacy from your spouse, your marriage is sexless.   It is wrong to believe that there is no love between spouses in a sexless relationship. Unless there is an affair involved, this need not be the case. In fact, most people stuck in sexless marriages are deeply involved in the marriage and are reluctant to walk …

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Why Men Avoid Sex (Asiaone 24 Mar)

Number of View: 730 You want it, he doesn’t – what gives? by Madeline           So you’re the tiger in bed. You want it, but his libido has gone MIA. According to Martha Lee, clinical sexologist at Eros Coaching, “It’s normal for men to experience a loss of sexual desire in bouts. When that happens, a man has a harder time dealing with it as, in most cases, his sense of self is tied up with his virility.” This also means that he may be too ashamed to speak up or seek help. So it’s up to you to suss out his pleasure busters and experiment with a few tried-and-tested solutions. Why he’s avoiding sex: He may be super-stressed out If your hubby’s workplace is like that of the typical Singaporean male, he’s likely to be a bundle of overstretched nerves by the time he gets home at night. Daniel Koh, health psychologist at Insights Mind Centre, says that those who are stressed are often too preoccupied with worry to consider the possibility of pleasure. With his mind filled up with other thoughts, he may not even recognise the pleasure of sex, not to mention feel …

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