New family harassed by Malaysian ex-wife in bitter divorce

Number of View: 1162 Greetings to you sir. I came across your site Steady Marriages and find it very helpful and hopeful. We would like to ask for your kind advice quite urgently as we are struggling to free ourselves from this trouble that has been dragging and affecting our lives pretty badly since 2013. As we are still just beginning to stand on our own feet i.e getting a stable permanent job, we are still nowhere able to afford a lawyer to fight against a case of an ex-wife who is only a foreign PR and has custody of 2 kids (hiding one child in Malaysia since birth in 2012) and hogging on to matrimonial flat accumulating instalment repayments and interests since November 2014. Changed all locks to doors and gate knowing that having an active PPO against him would make him helpless to have access to his own flat. Smartly and discreetly refusing to cooperate with the selling procedure despite courts order to sell the matrimonial flat (which we do not understand why there is no given enforcement on any timeline). Same time it seems she is exploiting and taking advantage of Women’s Chapter to her advantage and …

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Jobless man made homeless and penniless by court’s decision after divorce

Number of View: 816First of all, tell us abit about yourself – how long were you married and any kids? Twenty one  years of marriage with 3 kids –  girl – 19 , boy – 16   and another boy – 14.  I am fifty years old now. I was a financial advisor  for the last 20 years before quitting recently to focus on my divorce case. I am also acting on my own defence  due to a lack of cash to get a lawyer.  What was the court’s decision for visitation rights after the divorce? The Court order allows me   ONE hour per week of visitation right even though there was no PPO or  any violence  at home. I am also not  allow to visit the children’s schools as  I was accused of beating  them up without any report or evidence of  records from police or MOE. I have a  criminal-free record so far. I have also submitted in my  affidavit two  volunteer parties  as parental guidances  for the children after the divorce   as both my ex- wife and myself work long hours and could not really care for them. Getting a miad is also not a good solution  but this was …

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Divorced man checking on reducing maintenance payment to ex-wife

Number of View: 1152 Hi Gilbert, First of all,  I would like to thank you for setting up http://www.steadymarriages.com for people like us who are divorced and need emotional support. My scenario:- Married for 5 years. Officially divorced in June this year; no kids. Mutual agreement that I pay my wife $30,000 (lump sum) and subsequent monthly maintenance of $250. Currently:- My wife is living in Malaysia (JB) and is travelling to and fro  Singapore for work. My finances are tighter (no OT and currently studying a part time course) Basic less than 2k. I would like to reduce the monthly maintenance  but am lost on how to apply to the court. Able to advise or provide me a website/link? I tried to google but no avail. (the only thing I find is the link on how to enforce maintenance and not reduce it: http://app.subcourts.gov.sg/family/page.aspx?pageid=3771) Many thanks and regards Philip (not his real name) ******** Reply from our volunteer legal counsel James:   In order to apply for a variation of the maintenance order, Philip would have to engage a lawyer or to do it himself by going to court and seeking assistance at the Family Court Registry. He needs …

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The 10 Most Important Things In Life I Learned From Talking To Old People

Number of View: 367 I’m a relatively young man. I don’t consider myself wise but I do pay attention more than most people my age. Obviously none of you online know me, but I am what you call mouthy. I love to tell stories, jokes, and in general my life is an open book. I love to have fun and tell those around me exactly what I’m thinking. Believe it or not when I am not talking I am doing something even more important, listening. I truly enjoy a good conversation and especially with those older. I give speeches (mostly on plants) and tomorrow is for a group of seniors 80 and older. Everyday I look at older people and think, what have they done right and what did they do wrong? Here is the list of what I have learned from people 70 and older in relation to finance. I have gathered it all from talking to seniors about what they did right and what they wish they had done. 1. Be patient Money must be saved over a long period of time. Don’t take high risks for quick returns. Investing is a marathon not a sprint. 2. Take …

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Wife left me because of my low pay package

Number of View: 446 My name is Peter and I am 46 years old. My wife and I now live separately and the divorce will be finalised after 3 years of separation according to the Singapore’s divorce law. I honestly did not see it coming until about 2 months ago. My wife wanted a divorce and the reason  she gave me at that time was that she is feeling very  tired and earned  more than I do. It hit me real hard and naturally my ego was seriously bruised. I’m totally lost now and felt very useless. Perhaps, my situation is common in Singapore currently  as our women  earn more than their husbands given the equal opportunities available for both gender. But the fact is both of us have had our good times when we were married. Who doesn’t want to give their wife and family a better life? Its tough and I’ve tried very hard indeed to provide a better lifestyle for the family but I have my limitations.  I have also tried to talk to her to save the marriage but to no avail. YES, I admitted that 3 weeks later when she broke the bad news to me, I …

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Money not the key to happiness

Number of View: 283 AMY CORDEROY HEALTH July 10, 2010   The Sydney Morning Herald WHEN it comes to happiness it turns out we are not just comparing ourselves with the Joneses, but the Wongs and the Kumars as well, according to the biggest ever international survey of what makes us happy. The study, which surveyed 136,000 people in more than 130 countries that account for about 96 per cent of the world’s population – found rich people in rich countries were much more likely to say they were satisfied with their life than rich people in poorer nations. “It may be that the standard for material wellbeing is now largely worldwide rather than defined within nations,” said the study’s leader, Ed Diener, of the University of Illinois. The study also found that while people who are relatively well-off tended to feel more satisfied than poorer people with the way their life was going, on a day to day basis they were not more likely to experience feelings of happiness or wellbeing. Social and psychological factors accounted for people’s feelings of happiness. These included being treated with respect or having friends and family they could turn to in an emergency. Societies …

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Recession Takes Its Emotional Toll on Cities

Number of View: 315 By Prashant Gopal February 26, 2009, 2:11PM EST The economic downturn could lead to higher crime, divorce, alcohol and drug abuse, depression, and suicide Business week Leslie Storm, director of an Oregon suicide helpline, is scrambling to find shelter for a cash-strapped 52-year-old man who says he will hang himself by the end of the week. The man, who could not work for a couple of months because of a medical condition, told Storm that he is behind on his rent and his roommate plans to kick him out Feb. 26. It is the kind of situation she is dealing with more in these days of rising unemployment and evictions. “He’s telling me that he is slipping through the cracks, and it breaks my heart,” says Storm, director of the crisis line program of the Oregon Partnership. “He has medical problems and says he can’t go live under a bridge.” The Oregon suicide and drug and alcohol help lines received 71% more calls in January 2009 than it did the previous January, including more calls from people having suicidal thoughts because of severe financial stress, Storm said. Promoting Awareness The federal government and nonprofit advocacy groups …

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A wife’s rights to hubby’s assets (The Star 4 Apr)

Number of View: 340 Sunday April 4, 2010 A wife’s rights to hubby’s assets By SHAHANAAZ HABIB newsdesk@thestar.com.my KUALA LUMPUR: Very few Muslim women know that they are entitled to claim harta sepen­carian which can amount to half of their husband’s assets upon the latter’s death. It is common for women to stake a claim for harta sepencarian (joint assets accrued during the marriage) in divorce but not in death, said AmanahRaya Legacy Services CEO Rafie Omar. “This is because Muslim widows do not know their rights and entitlement. They think that if they have children, they are entitled only to one-eighth of the husband’s assets (under the faraid system) and if they have no children, they think they can get only a quarter of the husband’s assets. “But women in Malaysia contribute to the success of their husbands, so the women should claim and are entitled to a portion of the harta sepencarian if they can show they contributed,” said Rafie in an interview. He said this was on top of the faraid (Islamic inheritance law and distribution of estate) portion the wife would get. Hence the difference between Case 1 and Case 2. In the first case, Zainab …

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Recession, resilience, divorce? (familyinequality)

Number of View: 345 Recession, resilience, divorce?   December 18, 2009 by Philip Cohen Updated December 29, 2009.   Delivering some “good news for Christmas,” The National Marriage Project, under the editorship of the sociologist W. Bradford Wilcox, has released a report titled The State of Our Unions, 2009: Money and Marriage. It has a lot of useful information on marriage and families, with some editorial bending in the pro-marriage-and-family direction.   My beef here is with the chapter titled “The Great Recession’s Silver Lining?” In it, Wilcox writes:   judging by divorce trends, many couples appear to be developing a new appreciation for the economic and social support that marriage can provide in tough times. Thus, one piece of good news emerging from the last two years is that marital stability is up.   That line was quoted by Ross Douthat at the New York Times, which is a shame, because there is no evidence about anyone’s appreciation for marriage in the chapter. Instead, the evidence for this assertion is presented in a graph that shows three data points in the divorce-rate trend:   The figure shows a decline in the divorce rate from 2007 to 2008. In the press release …

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What about Fathers who can’t afford maintenance? (Today 22 Mar)

Number of View: 539 What about Fathers who can’t afford maintenance? 09:10 AM Mar 22, 2010 by Alicia Wong Does more need to be done for fathers, who for legitimate reasons, are unable to afford child maintenance?   Take Kenneth (not his real name) for example. The 40-year-old has been wheelchair-bound since he was injured in a car accident six months after he got married. Last September, he agreed to a divorce, and now has to pay $280 in child maintenance monthly.   While he was given a three-month reprieve after he lost his $5-an-hour job in December, Kenneth noted that his ex-wife earns more than $2,000 a month. “I’m not going to shirk my responsibility but you expect us to give 20, 30 per cent of our pay? We need money to survive too,” he said.   His wife and son, 12, still live in the matrimonial home as Kenneth agreed to let them live there for a year after the divorce. His job hunt has been futile, even after asking organisations, including the Handicaps Welfare Association, for help.   “Sometimes women might be the aggressors … If the Women’s Charter is now set stronger against us, what kind …

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