Wife suspects husband of having affair and enquiring on divorce proceedings

Number of View: 761 Hi Gilbert I am not sure if I fit into this support group. I have been contemplating divorce for a year as my spouse has changed. I suspect he is having an affair but never had the courage to investigate further. He has been going out most nights till early morning., always on the phone smsing and for the past few months, I noticed he had turned his hp to silent mode. He never informs me on his whereabouts and treats me coldly for almost a year now. Kindly advice how I should about initiating a divorce. I have a 7-year-old daughter and may not have the financial ability to fork out much for hiring of lawyer service. Please advise. Regards, Pauline ****** Hi Pauline Sorry to hear of your marital predicament. Can I propose counselling together so the marriage has a chance at reconciliation? We can refer you to one. Why don’t you talk to him directly about what’s troubling you? Yes it takes courage but not doing anything means the marriage is gone for sure. Let me know. Gilbert

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52-year-old checks in to IMH over divorce proceedings from wife

Number of View: 931 Hi Gilbert, Why at 52 then my wife files for a divorce and make me so miserable? We have 3 beautiful children – all grown up and the youngest is 4 months short of 21 yrs. Already completed his Polytechnic and waiting for enlistment. She even wanted to fight for the custody for care and control. She has not been working for the past 28 years. Well my child don’t want to go with her. Anyway I have booked myself into IMH and really just about to feel a little better then comes this writ. I cannot sleep again. Hope that I can really pull through the second time. Francis

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Desperate ex-husband enquiring on lower payment of monthly maintenance order

Number of View: 749 Hi Gilbert, Recently, I went to receive the Family court order that I need to pay the following lump sum of monthly maintenance to my ex-wife:- 2 Children =$500 Wife =$100 House Utilities =$150-200 House rent =$44 Conservative Charge =$88 House and internet service $100 And next year school fees for my 2nd child =$250-280 Currently I am paying:- 1 bike =$527 1 bike =$350 1 Malaysian car – $300 1st wife maintenance – $300 Singtel hp =$100 Singtel Hp =$100 Currently I am not staying with her and my salary is only $2400. Now I don’t think I can manage to pay the full maintenance court order and thinking if its possible to go back to Family court to ask for lower maintenance payment. Desperate

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25-year-old filing for divorce and worried about rental cost

Number of View: 575 Hi Gilbert I’m a Singaporean Chinese citizen, 25 years old. I’ve been deciding whether to file for a divorce. And finally made up my mind today. And the answer from my heart is Yes, I should. I’ve been feeling depressed and miserable for months. But I’m currently studying part time diploma, and my full time job is pending confirmation (still under probation). I’ve asked my boss whether I can work in another part time job and he said it’s better not to. I can’t live with my parents now as they have already rented out my room, and I do not want them to worry about my current condition. I will let them know once I have settle everything. However, the rental fees in Singapore are really costly, and my monthly salary will not be sufficient, I’ve been trying to sell/give away my things recently but there are still a lot of things, left behind. I wonder if the landlord will allow me to bring my stuff and live in their home. Are there any temporary home for divorced citizens? Broken Editor’s note: This article is retrieved from a comment posted on the site.

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Newly-divorced man enquiring on issues leading to housing after interim judgement

Number of View: 505 Hi Gilbert I am not clear about the legal procedures. I decided not to contest the divorce initiated by my wife and signed the document before a registrar. I received the lawyer’s letter informing me that. the judge will look at the case to make an interim judgement. My wife, me and the lawyer do not need to be present. My question is what comes after that? In the document, I agree to sell my share of the HDB flat to her. CPF monies plus interest accrued will be paid back to my CPF account. My wife also mentioned that she wants me to leave the matrimonial home on a specific date. Does she have a legal right to force me to leave or is it her own whim and fancy? Regards James ***** Hi James I am not a lawyer but merely a counsellor. I know if you sell you home back to your wife you are no longer the co-owner of the flat. She has the legal right to ask you to leave. It has to be after  after the pronouncement  of interim judgement. Please check with your lawyer for the exact details as …

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Father concerned about child alienation tactics employed by wife

Number of View: 496 Dear Gilbert, I came across steadymarriages website by chance after viewing other sites that may shed some light on my legal rights as a father of two who is separated and locked out of his matrimonial home for some two and a half years. I have done all I can to reconcile with my wife but she refuses. The overall view is she is alienating me from our children and reducing contact with them. I got over the emotional distress with the support of my church and the Pastor. I am seeking legal advice since has emailed me asking to contest or uncontest writ for divorce. I would like to know if I should apply to the courts for access to our home or wait until it goes to court? My wife has reduced the contact time for seeing our children to one hour a week for lunch on a Saturday and keeps using the children as an excuse they don’t want to see their father. If this come to court this current access to kids dictated by my wife may be continued by the courts. Can I make an appointment to come and meet you …

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Recently-divorced mum wants to extend a helping hand to another recent divorcee

Number of View: 379 Hi Gilbert, I just happen to stumble into your site and read about Irene’s plight. I thank God for His guidance and indeed I know Him deeper as my personal Lord and Father through my own difficult marriage of 19 years and 2 years of subsequent divorce journey. At the age of 51 (soon), I am left with a 14-year-old teen to support and with all financial burden because I need to retain the matrimonial flat to house the child. Although it was the direction of the Lord and He miraculously gave me a just trial as He promised, I am still not spared the cost of divorce. I asked for no maintenance for myself and child so as to give a fair deal to the court to request the flat to be paid yo my ex based on the welfare of my child. Currently, my essential expense is almost $1.5k /month excluding food, personal and educational needs. If HDB allows me as a single parent to be able to sell the flat after 6 months or one year instead of 5 years, life would be easier for me. Although I can rent a room for myself …

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Mother requesting advice for sole custody of child due to violent father

Number of View: 459Dear Gilbert, My child is born out of wedlock but birth certificate has the natural father’s name included in it. The relationship with my child’s father has been strained in late 2014 due to character differences and my suspicion of his infidelity. I have been the main caregiver since, staying at my mother’s side. He has only met my child  5 to 7 times last year in 2015, and only once in March this year. Mostly, I am the one initiating the meetings for my son’s sake. Thus, I have been pestering him to do up an application to transfer our child’s custody to me, in which he has complied but failed to do so later. I have asked him to seek a lawyer to do so as he is willing to and has the capability (in terms of finances) to do so. In 2016 I have also requested for monthly maintenance, but till date he has only given me once in April. Recently, I have received direct information from his girlfriend’s sister. This is the very same girlfriend whom I have suspected they had something going on back in 2014. His girlfriend’s sister told me that …

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Woman feared for her family’s safety due to a abusive husband

Number of View: 388 Dear Gilbert, Thank you for providing a website and forum for the divorcing and divorced. We need more like this avenues around. This year, I filed for a divorce with my spouse. He has been abusive towards, myself and our two young children, PPO was granted to us, against him. At first, he agreed to sign divorce papers, then he deployed delay tactics on the day itself, and has refused to maintain any form of communication with me. I paid for the lawyer’s fee in full and because of a clause that the lawyer put in, payment of $50 for every month that the divorce case remains unsettled in his office, I may have to drop my lawyer. I really hope to divorce my spouse but I do not know how to do this, as he is most likely not to turn up when required nor cooperate in any sense. We have been separated since September last year. Every day I live in fear for my children, as he may pull my children out of their school and take them away from me, to a location which he will obviously not tell me and he would …

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Father suffers from child alienation and fights for sole custody of his two sons

Number of View: 307 Dear readers, I have a problem too. I am a Muslim. I have two kids. The eldest is a 8-year-old boy. He doesn’t t want to stay with the mother. Because he often gets beaten by her boyfriend’s mum. The custody for both kids is with the mum under sole custody. The longest period I was not able to see him was one year. My ex-wife stays in Malaysia and my son commutes by a chartered bus to school everyday. One fine day he ran away from the school bus and he took his own bus to my house in Singapore. That is from Singapore customs to my house. The mum has been trying forcefully to bring him back there ever since. He would cry at the very mention of her name. I love my kids and I cannot bear to see him being dragged home forcefully. Currently my son is admitted to the hospital due to phobia of being forcefully taken home. I have lodged a police report as there was some bruises on his body. What can I do here? I called up the family court and they mentioned that custody can only be …

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