How to handle an extramarital affair

Number of View: 653How to handle an extramarital affair  By John Ng | 20/02/2013 When your other half strays from the relationship and looks elsewhere for emotional or physical needs, you might choose to end the relationship immediately or choose to remain in it. Either way, a marital affair outside has crippling effects that can be felt by both parties for some time. The emotional trauma guts your soul and more often than not, the unintentional hurt affects your kids too. So what is an affair anyway? No, that drunken debauchery from your brother’s Christmas party does not count (Unless you’ve been eyeing your sister-in-law for a long time. Which is another story altogether.) It’s definitely not a midnight sojourn with a complete stranger in the backpacker’s inn and it definitely isn’t a one-off clandestine affair with the foreign tourist you’re never going to see again. An affair is a sexual relationship that lasts more than one night where at least one of the lovers is publicly committed to someone else. Pick a ballpark figure of 40% and you are pretty close to summing up the prevalent state of marital affairs in marriages. In fact, I’d go out on a …

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When Your Marriage Is Over

Number of View: 385 When Your Marriage Is Over By: Vivian Vega (View Profile)  When your marriage is over, your world feels like it’s been turned upside down. One moment your life is filled with love and affection, caring and being supportive for one another, waking up each day with a smile on your face, ready to face the world … and then, boom! A bomb is dropped in your life suddenly, like a glass vase falling off your shelf. Pieces everywhere, emotions intensely prevalent and then, you are at a loss, not knowing exactly caused this to occur. After twelve years of marriage, I began to notice changes in my husband. Becoming more distant and unapproachable, I blamed it on his sudden schedule change at work, having to work the night shift; something he had never done before. Working at night where lots of people were present, sleeping during the day, only to wake up for dinner and leave again for work. Our relationship was sinking fast, like the Titanic. I saw it, tried to talk with him, but he blamed it on his tiredness and new schedule. Eleven months later, he was on day shift again. Ah! I thought now, he’s going to be like his …

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How to Recover from an Affair

Number of View: 346 How to Recover from an Affair Edited byDanine Manette and 14 others Realize that you are in shock. Initially, this is the phase where you are simply in disbelief. You cannot comprehend that your spouse has been physically or emotionally intimate with someone other than yourself; that your spouse was sneaking around and going out of his/her way to make time and seek out this person. And all the while you were oblivious… you begin piecing the puzzle together and you realize that so much of your reality was actually a lie. During this phase, you will probably feel like you’re in a dense fog while trying to make sense of what is going on and determine whether or not it is all just some sort of ‘bad dream’. Expect to experience some rage. You begin to realize that the situation is an actual reality and that it is not just some sort of ‘bad dream’. During this phase you may become physically ill and find that you are simply unable to get out of bed, go to work, or interact with others normally in your everyday world. The affair is all you are able to …

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How To Heal the Pain of Divorce

Number of View: 673 By Cathy Meyer, About.com Guide Everyone who goes through a divorce experiences pain and grief, but some may be more profoundly affected. Some do not cope as well as others. Divorce can be a traumatic experience and healing from it takes time. There are some ways you can help yourself move through the healing process. Difficulty: Hard Time Required: Depends on the person Here’s How: Develop a support system. Find those friends and family who will be there to see you through the times when you need a shoulder to cry on or someone to listen. A clergyman or professional counselor may be helpful, as you can talk openly and confidentially. After a divorce, your true friends won’t be hard to recognize, because they will be willing to help you adjust to the changes. Seek a divorce recovery group in your community, so that you can interact with others going through the same emotions. Seek professional help if needed. Some people get stuck in the pain of divorce, and may experience depression, whether mild or severe. In that case, it is imperative to seek professional help, through your family doctor or a licensed therapist. Don’t try …

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Should You Change Your Sexual Habits for Your Partner?

Number of View: 331 Navigating the complexities of sex and relationships     by Amy Muise, Ph.D Should You Change Your Sexual Habits for Your Partner?       How sexual compromise can enhance relationship satisfaction Published on January 25, 2013 by Amy Muise, Ph.D in The Passion Paradox Over the course of a romantic relationship, there are bound to be times when your sexual interests diverge from your partner’s interests. Perhaps you enjoy having sex at night, but your partner prefers morning sex. Maybe you desire sex about once or twice a week, but your partner would like to have sex once or twice a day. Or maybe you fantasize about being tied to the bedpost, but bondage is not one of your partner’s sexual fantasies. Although a satisfying sex life is an important part of overall relationship happiness,1,2 sex can also be one of the most challenging issues to negotiate in a romantic relationship.2 Romantic partners may disagree on when to have sex, how often to have it, and what those sexual activities involve. If romantic partners have differing sexual interests, what can they do? A recent study suggests that, at times, changing sexual habits (or making sexual transformations) for a …

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Jobless man made homeless and penniless by court’s decision after divorce

Number of View: 779First of all, tell us abit about yourself – how long were you married and any kids? Twenty one  years of marriage with 3 kids –  girl – 19 , boy – 16   and another boy – 14.  I am fifty years old now. I was a financial advisor  for the last 20 years before quitting recently to focus on my divorce case. I am also acting on my own defence  due to a lack of cash to get a lawyer.  What was the court’s decision for visitation rights after the divorce? The Court order allows me   ONE hour per week of visitation right even though there was no PPO or  any violence  at home. I am also not  allow to visit the children’s schools as  I was accused of beating  them up without any report or evidence of  records from police or MOE. I have a  criminal-free record so far. I have also submitted in my  affidavit two  volunteer parties  as parental guidances  for the children after the divorce   as both my ex- wife and myself work long hours and could not really care for them. Getting a miad is also not a good solution  but this was …

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How to tell if a guy likes you – Five signs he’s interested (articlesbase.com)

Number of View: 1237 How can you tell if a guy likes you or is interested? You noticed him when you were standing and talking with a friend. You think he noticed you, but maybe it was your imagination or just wishful thinking. He looked at you at about the same time you saw him. Your eyes met for just a few seconds, and then you looked away. When you looked back up, he was talking with some other people. Was he watching you as you mingled? Or were you making that up? How can you tell if a guy likes you? Why are guys so hard to read? Here are five signs that he is interested in you too. If any of the following happens, he is probably trying to get close enough to ask you out: 1. He tells someone Is he interested? He likes you if he tells a mutual friend that he wants to know more about you, or he asks other people who you are and where you’re from. He is trying to act like he’s “just asking” but his questions indicate more than a casual interest. And when he tells someone that he finds …

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Divorced man checking on reducing maintenance payment to ex-wife

Number of View: 1110 Hi Gilbert, First of all,  I would like to thank you for setting up http://www.steadymarriages.com for people like us who are divorced and need emotional support. My scenario:- Married for 5 years. Officially divorced in June this year; no kids. Mutual agreement that I pay my wife $30,000 (lump sum) and subsequent monthly maintenance of $250. Currently:- My wife is living in Malaysia (JB) and is travelling to and fro  Singapore for work. My finances are tighter (no OT and currently studying a part time course) Basic less than 2k. I would like to reduce the monthly maintenance  but am lost on how to apply to the court. Able to advise or provide me a website/link? I tried to google but no avail. (the only thing I find is the link on how to enforce maintenance and not reduce it: http://app.subcourts.gov.sg/family/page.aspx?pageid=3771) Many thanks and regards Philip (not his real name) ******** Reply from our volunteer legal counsel James:   In order to apply for a variation of the maintenance order, Philip would have to engage a lawyer or to do it himself by going to court and seeking assistance at the Family Court Registry. He needs …

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The 10 Most Important Things In Life I Learned From Talking To Old People

Number of View: 348 I’m a relatively young man. I don’t consider myself wise but I do pay attention more than most people my age. Obviously none of you online know me, but I am what you call mouthy. I love to tell stories, jokes, and in general my life is an open book. I love to have fun and tell those around me exactly what I’m thinking. Believe it or not when I am not talking I am doing something even more important, listening. I truly enjoy a good conversation and especially with those older. I give speeches (mostly on plants) and tomorrow is for a group of seniors 80 and older. Everyday I look at older people and think, what have they done right and what did they do wrong? Here is the list of what I have learned from people 70 and older in relation to finance. I have gathered it all from talking to seniors about what they did right and what they wish they had done. 1. Be patient Money must be saved over a long period of time. Don’t take high risks for quick returns. Investing is a marathon not a sprint. 2. Take …

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10 Steps to Recover from a Divorce or Breakup

Number of View: 449 10 Steps to Recover from a Divorce or Breakup Posted by Rinatta Paries on May 3, 2010 11:08 PM Divorce, or the breakup of a serious relationship, can be a devastating ordeal, and recovering from them can be a difficult, treacherous road. Sometimes people don’t recover at all. Others, although appearing to be past their divorce or breakup, still carry the pain with them, as well as the fear of getting close to a partner again. Below are ten ways to help you recover, get your life back on track, and guarantee a bright relationship future. 1. Grieve deeply and completely. Many times people are terrified of dark feelings such as sadness, depression, and anger. The intensity can make you feel like they’ll take hold of your soul forever. The key point to remember and trust is that although these feelings are indeed strong, they won’t last forever. Nor will they destroy or damage you. As a matter of fact, you’ll likely be in a better place emotionally once you’ve let yourself work through them. 2. Grieve for the future you thought your marriage or relationship once had, which now will never be. When people come …

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