Dealing with the Discovery of Infidelity

Number of View: 550 Dealing with the Discovery of Infidelity The pain and shock of discovering a partner’s infidelity can be one of life’s most traumatic events.  As such, it should come as no surprise that it often takes several years for couples to effectively repair a relationship after infidelity comes to light. Some things to keep in mind about surviving infidelity: Many couples are able to recover from infidelity and can develop a stronger relationship with more intimacy and closeness. Several factors influence how successful couples are at saving a relationships after an affair:  the quality of the relationship prior to the discovery of infidelity, both partner’s commitment to making a relationship work, effective communication skills, and counseling are critical to successful recovery (see, is relationship worth saving). The true motivation underlying infidelity can sometimes be hard to identify.  As such, couples may come up with explanations which do not adequately explain what happened (see, why people cheat).  If this is the case, the underlying problem does not get addressed and cheating is likely to happen again.  Even ending a relationship may not resolve the problem because infidelity can often follow individuals into their next relationship. Serial cheating is …

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Divorced client paid $100, 000 in legal fees and asking about its legitimacy

Number of View: 271 Hi  Gilbert How are you  .  Been reading your facebook post  . I have a general query regarding  my legal fees. I understand that  for a protracted contested divorce like mine , ( she started divorce proceeding in jun 2009 )   the legal fees can be very high .  its been four years and i extimated that I have spent about Sgd$100 k  on legal fees  . My question to the legal counsel is that  when ever there is affidavit filing  my lawyer bills me around $3- 4K. That includes drafting , amending plus communication between the  lawyer regarding issues the plaintiff and myself raised  . Basically I would like to know if what my lawyer charge me is reasonable .    What is the usual legal charge for an affidavit drafting and amending . I know the answer will come as depending on how much the lawyer charge for an hour  blah blah. I am asking if  what I am being charge is within  the accepted range? Regards Philip ^^^^^^^ Hi Philip It is difficult to comment on legal costs. This is because it is an issue usually agreed between client and his/her solicitor on how his/her …

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Coping With Depression During the Holidays

Number of View: 212 Coping With Depression During the Holidays When Sadness Clashes With Celebration  Emotional Survival Guide for the Holidays Experts explain some simple methods for driving away the holiday blues. By Denise Mann WebMD Feature Reviewed by Brunilda Nazario, MD    ‘Tis the season to be jolly? Not necessarily. For many people the holiday season, which kicks off with Thanksgiving and spans through New Year’s, is anything but blissful. In fact, this time of year may trigger a bout of the blues or perhaps ignite a depression that has been smoldering under the surface for months. “Holiday blues are a pretty common problem despite the fact that as a society, we see the holidays as a joyous time,” says Rakesh Jain, MD, director of psychiatric drug research at the R/D Clinical Research Center in Lake Jackson, Texas. “Many people feel depressed, which can be due to the increased stress that comes with the need to shop and the decreased time to exercise which gets put on the back burner during the holidays.”  Recommended Related to Depression  Fat Pharms: Antidepressants and Weight Gain Seeking help for depression — and following through with antidepressant medication — is a courageous and …

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10 Big Differences Between Men’s and Women’s Brains

Number of View: 339 10 Big Differences Between Men’s and Women’s Brains Jun 16th, 2009 By Amber Hensley The differences between women and men are not only well-documented, but frequently at the heart of jokes, anecdotes, and good-natured (and not so good-natured) ribbing. Experts have discovered that there are actually differences in the way women’s and men’s brains are structured and in the way they react to events and stimuli. So the next time your wife, boyfriend, or parent starts telling you how you should have done something differently, then refer back to these big differences between men’s and women’s brains. Human relationships. Women tend to communicate more effectively than men, focusing on how to create a solution that works for the group, talking through issues, and utilizes non-verbal cues such as tone, emotion, and empathy whereas men tend to be more task-oriented, less talkative, and more isolated. Men have a more difficult time understanding emotions that are not explicitly verbalized, while women tend to intuit emotions and emotional cues. These differences explain why men and women sometimes have difficulty communicating and why men-to-men friendships look different from friendships among women. Left brain vs. both hemispheres. Men tend to process …

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Coping with Infidelity: How should affairs end?

Number of View: 332 Introduction: This is the second in a four part series of Q&A columns on infidelity. Last week I explained how affairs usually begin (see Part 1)and this week I will explain how they should end. There are three parts to the way affairs should end. The first part is revealing the affair to one’s spouse, the second part is never seeing or communicating with the lover again, and the third part is getting through symptoms of withdrawal after a permanent separation takes place. Granted, that’s not the way most affairs end. In most affairs after the passion peaks, the spouse and lover simply drift apart, the victimized spouse usually never finds out about it and the lover is often still in the picture, occasionally getting back together again with the unfaithful spouse. Some affairs are discovered by the spouse, but even after discovery, the affair often continues unabated until it dies a natural death. If that’s the way your affair ends, even if your marriage survives, it will probably not amount to much. You may feel that after an affair a marriage doesn’t amount to much anyway. But the way I suggest ending an affair in …

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Forum: “Recovery from aftermath of a divorce” on 1 Dec (Sat) 2.00pm to 4.30pm

Number of View: 221 Dear Friends, We will be organising a forum –  “Recovery from aftermath of a divorce” on 1 Dec (Sat) from 2.00 to 4.30pm. Many people who have undergone a divorce situation suffer from a grief that is similar to a loved one passing away. Some may even exhibit suicidal tendencies and a few making an attempt on their lives to end the misery. The emotional pain is always intense and overwhelming. We are fortunate to have invited Dr Fred Toke – a respected speaker renowned for his speaking eloquence and witty jokes to grace the occasion. Dr Toke earned his PhD in psychology from the US and is a well sought after speaker in the region. He also manages Family Life Solutions – a one-stop shop that organises seminars and workshops to enhance family relationship ties. During the forum, he will share on the psychological trauma of divorce and how one can take small incremental steps to cope with the pain. We hope that you will learn something  during the forum if you are suffering from the aftermath of a divorce. The forum will be held at National Volunteer and Philanthropy Centre (NVPC) at 6 Eu Tong Sen Street #04-88 …

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