11 Ways To Keep The Children Out of Your Divorce

Number of View: 261By Julie Garrison Special to DadsDivorce.com No one plans on getting divorced. But when a marriage is having severe conflict or two people are actually going through a divorce, there are many things parents can do to shield the children from adult problems and help them adjust to the changes in their parents’ relationship. Here are 11 ways to keep your children out of your divorce. 1. Make a pact with your spouse to never fight in front of the children. I’m not talking about the “why don’t you ever put the cap back on the toothpaste” type of conflict. I’m talking about conversations dealing with adultery, addiction, character, spending habits, sex, in-laws and anything else of this caliber. If you don’t, your children will be negatively affected. 2. Make an appointment to fight – away from eyesight and earshot of your children. One couple I know used to hire a sitter for their kids, drive behind the local shopping mall and scream it out. 3. Try a marriage counselor and get instruction in learning to fight fairly with your spouse. 4. If you decide to divorce, tell your children together, as a couple. Tell them that …

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Recently divorced man suffering from maintenance payment woes and feeling suicidal

Number of View: 243   Dear Nr Gilbert,   I have  went through a divorce recently,  the final judgement has been laid and I need to pay  my ex her  and  the child’s maintenance fee of $350.   I suffered from Anxiety Disorder and Depression since 23 years old.   I am also a low salaried worker and my income frequently hovers below the $1000 mark.   My friend recommends  a catholic lawyer and he seems  unable to defend my case well  and even  tend   to  support the stand of  the  lawyer from my ex-wife side!   When I was married,  I thought that I would be married happily forever but then ……this is the outcome I got after marrying my ex….and in the end I have to go through the agony of paying regular  maintenance fee when she filed for divorce.   I felt really very frustrated at times but yet I can’t do anything about it – there is a critical lack of voice here to represent the interests of our  divorced men.   The women can simply file for divorce after marrying for a short while citing all sorts of excuses and after that  the man has to cough up whatever amount the family …

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When Marriage Counselling Fails

Number of View: 688 When Marriage Counseling Fails Dr. David B. Hawkins, The Marriage Recovery Center   The complaints are commonplace, but never cease to impact me. With thirty-five years of experience, and thousands of couples telling me their story, I’m still saddened when I listen to the frustrations of opportunities lost.  A couple seeking “something different” alerted me once again to an ongoing problem rarely talked about: many couples have gone to multiple counselors, feeling frustrated, discouraged and even annoyed with the experience.  “No offense, doc,” Steven said to me recently in their initial couple’s counseling session. A tall man with a graying goatee, he spoke forcefully and deliberately.  “Cynthia and I have done this before, and it didn’t help then. Why should I expect that it will help now?”  I looked over at Cynthia, a forty-year old woman, energetic, stylish, but with a hint of annoyance on her face.  “I wouldn’t say it didn’t help at all,” she said matter-of-factly. “I think we got a few skills out of it. But, it didn’t take long for us to slip right back where we are now—and we’re not doing well.”  “I want to understand this,” I said to them. …

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Coping with affair

Number of View: 243 Affairs can be exhilarating, exciting, passionate and romantic. They can also be damaging, destructive, painful, time-wasting and demeaning. Affairs inevitably hurt someone – and frequently they hurt all the parties involved including children, if there are any. Some affairs of course end happily for the couple – let’s face it, plenty of good second marriages began as illicit romances – but the vast majority of extra-marital liaisons don’t end in a new marriage or relationship. So, starting an affair is not a brilliant step to take – and yet people do it all the time. Can affairs help a marriage? Mostly, no. People ask this question to justify what’s happening in their lives. But in my experience an affair only helps a marriage in two situations. Where one person in the marriage hates sex and is relieved that the partner gets sexual satisfaction elsewhere. So, a blind eye is turned and as long as the affair doesn’t get too emotional, the original relationship is preserved. When a married person has a fling with someone but learns through the experience that he or she is still in love with the marital partner and is far better off …

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Coping with a Breakup or Divorce

Number of View: 349 It’s never easy when a marriage or other significant relationship ends. Whatever the reason for the split – and whether or not you wanted it – the breakup of a long-term, committed relationship can turn your whole world upside down and trigger all sorts of painful and unsettling feelings. But there are things you can do to get through this difficult time. Even in the midst of the sadness and stress of a divorce or breakup, you have an opportunity to learn from the experience and grow into a stronger, wiser person. In This Article: Healing after a divorce or breakup Allow yourself to grieve Reach out to others Take care of yourself Learning important lessons Related article & resources Print  Authors Text Size Healing after a divorce or breakup Why do breakups hurt so much, even when the relationship is no longer good? A divorce or breakup is painful because it represents the loss, not just of the relationship, but also of shared dreams and commitments. Romantic relationships begin on a high note of excitement and hope for the future. When these relationships fail, we experience profound disappointment, stress, and grief. A breakup or divorce …

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The Plight of Vietnam’s ‘Mail-Order’ Brides

Number of View: 543 Andrew Billo – Andrew Billo is Senior Program Officer for Policy in the Asia Society‘s New York Public Programs office. He previously worked for six years on migration issues in Southeast Asia and the Middle East. In yesterday’s edition of the Global Times, the Chinese English-language newspaper tells us “Vietnam’s mail-order bride business is booming.” This, of course, is nothing new. But the story, and the controversy surrounding international marriage migration in Vietnam, reminded me of my time in the country. Back in 2007, when I was working to support the health and welfare of migrant brides from Vietnam, an acquaintance sent a photograph he had taken while visiting Ho Chi Minh City’s District 5. It was of a poster advertising a marriage broker’s services, and its bulleted text read: “She is a virgin, she will be yours in only three months, fixed price, if she escapes in the first year, guaranteed to be replaced.”  Although cross-border migration between countries of the region has existed for centuries, the mid-1990s saw a rapid uptick in the number of Vietnamese women marrying foreign men from countries around East and Southeast Asia. Living by the hundreds in viewing hotels …

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