Grown up daughter concerned about matrimonial asset of divorcing parents

Number of View: 222    Dear Gilbert   I chanced to read your blog on marriage and divorce situation and urgently hope you can provide us some info. My dad and  mum (both above 55 years old) are looking into divorce, they have not been staying together for a decade but the marriage broke down as long as 20 years ago.  We like your professional help on the below questions:-   1. They registered their marriage in Malaysia as  my dad is a Malaysian and my  mum a Singaporean. Now both are Singaporeans and about to divorce, what should be the procedure?   2. How does this application of divorce (if to be done in Malaysia) will affect the matrimonial asset (HDB flat)?   3. This HDB  flat has been fully paid by my dad (mum only contributed $3k when they first applied for  the flat direct from HDB), will my mum still be able to get a 50-50 share out of the sale? Dad only contributed to water and  electric bill plus housing loan all these while. Mum has been working with salary of no more than a thousand each month.   4. My concern is  will there be any complications for divorce and  split …

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Every Third Woman Would Have Real Sex with Her Virtual Partner

Number of View: 704 Every fourth Australian woman is ready to have unprotected sex on the first date, claims the research conducted by the Australian Sexuality Research and Social Policy organization. In addition the research found that every third woman would have intimate relationship with her virtual partner, she found on various web resources, such as Facebook, LiveJournal and other social resources, says Ninemsn. Moreover, 27% of women were ready for more: they claimed to be ready to have oral sex with their new partners. Experts claim that these results could not be called surprising for Australian society, since medical researches showed a disturbing growth of sexual diseases, such as HIV and chlamydia infection, during last 10 years. Felicity Persival, chief editor of the Women’s Health Magazine, noted people experience deep trust and closeness to other people they meet on such web portals as RSVP, Facebook or any other social networks, hence the lack of doubts about having unprotected sex with a new partner. However, Mrs. Persival warns that all the chats and talks on the Internet don’t make a person free from any sexual diseases and people should always consider protecting themselves during intercourses, regardless of the level of …

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How to Handle your Emotions During Divorce

Number of View: 208 How to Handle your Emotions during Divorce Divorce brings out the lunatic within us. Rage, anger, depression, sadness, resentment and blame are just some of negative emotions running the show. Your emotional state is hard to pin down from one moment to the next. This is not the best state of mind to be in when you are being called upon to handle so many things and make so many very important choices and decisions. Tame the gremlin We need to tame the gremlin, (that negative mind chatter within), learn to be less reactive and be in more control of our emotional state in order to be able to effectively handle our divorce. The good news is there are many tools and skills you can access to help you through this difficult life transition. Learn to recognize your ‘danger zone’. Your danger zone is that place where you are prone to reactive behavior and emotional upsets. Once you begin really tuning into your body’s cues, you will recognize this place and can take action to not go there. I am alerted to my danger zone when my stomach tightens, my heart races, my neck tenses and …

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Lady divorcee struggled with shared custody of son

Number of View: 238 Hi Gilbert,   Previously, I  have emailed you regarding  my divorce and child custody matter  to you.    Finally, my divorce has been settled.   Everything was quite smooth from the beginning after I managed to get in contact with my ex husband from facebook.    We have joint custody and care and control was given  to my ex.   We actually have an agreement that we will get a nanny, he will be paying for the fees and our son will stay over my mum’s place for the weekend –  at least until he is able to get someone to take care of our son fully or till he obtained a flat.   All these were settled quite smoothly.   After few months, for the very first time he delayed nanny fees without informing her for the late payout and of course the nanny wasn’t happy with it so she called my mum telling us if he still didn’t deliver his promise to them, she will bring our son back to us because  she stays nearby us.   My mum told the nanny anything she should contact the father as the main care is under him.   She …

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Divorce Recovery

Number of View: 262   Divorce and Your Emotions Just as the legal and financial process of divorce will take time, the emotional process of separating from your partner and establishing yourself as a healthy single individual will take time and will happen in stages. Divorce causes major emotional upheaval in the lives of everyone it touches. Most people find themselves to be alternately angry, sad, bitter, hopeless, and overwhelmed during the divorce. They may feel adrift or afraid of what the future holds. They may romanticize their ex-partner and feel that to be together again, even in an unhappy marriage, would be better than being alone. Sometimes they blame themselves or believe that if they were stronger or more in control, they wouldn’t be in so much pain. These feelings are all completely normal. Everyone who divorces experiences them in some form or another. However, these feelings can be made worse if you have unrealistic beliefs about the divorce process. Below is a list of the most common “emotional illusions” associated with divorce. If you recognize yourself in these statements, you may need to change your attitude toward divorce. As you move through the recovery process, try to replace …

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Men look at face, women look down there

Number of View: 2554In spite of the common believe erotic photographs evoke different reactions for men and women, Center of Behavioral Neuroscience (CBN) study says. Women show more interest and pay more attention to sexual actsand men focus on faces. Women and men were tested on visual response to erotic photographs that depicted sexual act to make clear the nature of sexual urges and their influence on health. The tests were made using eye-tracking technology that show the visual focus on various body parts. It was supposed that typical response to sexual stimuli would be women looking at faces and men looking at genitals. However, the results were rather unexpected, in fact they were quite the opposite. Women were more attracted at sexual acts first and men would pay their attention at faces. Although it was proved that a man is more likely to look at a woman’s face, he still thinks about asking that woman or girl out if he considers her beautiful. Unfortunately a lot of men are shy or simply do not know what to do if they see a beautiful woman. However, there are men who managed to overcome this problem and now are willing to …

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Why Men Cheat

Number of View: 493 March 18, 2010, 10:44 AM Why Men Cheat One man’s unfiltered, unadulterated explanation. Well, maybe a little adulterated. By Anonymous More from this author I’ll tell you why I cheat. I need to. Infidelity makes me remember things. The details that expand to fill my life (my upcoming performance reviews, the aches and pains of training, the recovery of my 401(k) ) and the ones that deaden it (my guilt, my smug self-satisfaction, my fake epiphanies about my progress in this life) —all of that drops away when I look down at the naked spine of an unfamiliar woman, twisting slightly in the late-afternoon sunlight streaming onto the sheets of a Hampton Inn in some nameless suburb. This is the most absolute choice I can make. I am there on my own. Against every code, rule, and set of mores I pretend to obey. Against better judgment, against every lesson of hindsight and every shard of wisdom that comes with age, I have no regrets in that moment, because I am naked, or without pants, and I have chosen to be there. I have voted by my presence, declared it, and I feel the blood moving …

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Talking to your kids about divorce

Number of View: 301Welcome back to Tuesday Talk. Today we’re gleaning some insight from Linda Ranson Jacobs. Linda is one of the forefront leaders in the area of children and divorce. She has been actively involved in ministering to children and their families for years. Having been both divorced and widowed, Linda was a single mom who learned firsthand the emotional and support needs of broken families, and she developed a passion to help hurting families. Linda developed the popular DC4K, DivorceCare for Kids (dc4k.org) and still serves as the DC4K Advisor. She has also developed HLP4.com which provides free resources for those serving single parent families. We asked Linda how kidmin workers and leaders can best minister to the kids and parents who are in the midst of a divorce. What’s good to say? What’s the worst thing they can say? Here is what Linda shared: What do you say when you find out a child in your group is experiencing the separation or divorce of their parents?  How you feel about divorce influences your response. If you know nothing about divorce it feels like all of a sudden you are entering a different country. This new foreign language …

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