End of a 21-year-old marriage

Number of View: 172   Dear Friends,   I will be meeting the lawyer to sign the divorce papers soon in Sydney. The papers were issued by my wife.   My family has been based in the Sydney for the past five years  due to work reason and I shuttled between Sydney and Singapore every few months.   Perhaps the frequent long absence from one another has exaceberated the cracks already found within the relationship since many years ago.   It will be an express divorce nevertheless meaning that the marital dissolution  is almost immediate once the court acknowledged the documents.   I sense a storm coming my way…   It also ushers the end of a long 21-year-old marriage and I have thanked my wife profusely the past few days via text messages that I have cherished the relationship however tumultous it has been for the two of us.   I also asked  for her forgiveness and not to bear grudges against me for too long as it wont be healthy for her as well.   Its a bittersweet feeling really and I am glad that all this happens in Sydney as I will have the time to grieve about the situation more …

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Lady divorcee in dilemma with visitation rights for son with special needs

Number of View: 206   Hi Gilbert   I have been divorced for a year, my son is 4 years old and he has Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD).   He is verbal but  still needs prompting if being asked.   Recently my son told me during our normal chat about the living arrangements between his dad and I, that there is auntie  in grandfather’s  house (that is where my exhusband is staying) and that auntie and papa is having a baby.   My ex and I dont really communicate except when he wants to cancel or arrange for pick up then I would write some updates when he comes for visit.   Since this incident, I have noticed my son is slightly off –  like he wants me to carry him all the time, he would cry when he sees me going off to my part time work (I have been working for almost 9 months now) and he would hit me again (he display this behaviour when my ex husband moves out).   So I decided to email  my ex husband because he refuse to talk to me in person.   Apparently,  he has been married for almost 3 months now and his new baby will be due …

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Marriage vs divorce

Number of View: 158     When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.   She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?   I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.   She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had …

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Break-ups leave women poorer but men more fragile

Number of View: 207 Break-ups leave women poorer but men more fragile ADELE HORIN The Sydney Morning Herald July 7, 2010 Women are much poorer than men after a marriage breakdown but men are much lonelier, sadder and their mental health is more fragile immediately after, a big study reveals. Within fours years, however, men have begun to recover emotionally and their finances have improved considerably. But women’s incomes have gone backwards. ”Both men and women take a hit after separation,” said David de Vaus, professor of sociology at the University of Queensland, and co-author of the study. ”Women are much poorer financially, men are much poorer socially.” The study, to be presented at the 2010 Australian Institute of Family Studies conference today, shows men’s income in real terms is almost 20 per cent higher four years after separation, in line with general income trends, but on average women’s is 2 per cent less. And separated men are more likely than women to call themselves ”poor” and to complain of financial hardship, despite an average income of almost $42,000 compared with $36,000 for separated women. ”It doesn’t mean men are just moaning. We don’t know what their expenses are,” Professor …

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10 Traits Men Find Attractive in a Woman

Number of View: 496 10 Traits Men Find Attractive in a Woman   When we talk about attraction, we are not talking about lust (which is also a form of attraction). A man can be physically attracted to a woman, without any feelings of love, and this form of attraction is purely primal and is focused completely on the “body” of the woman involved. What we are talking about, in this article, is the attraction which is synonymous with love. Relationships are built on a love based attraction, so what’s important would be know the traits in a woman, that men find most attractive, which makes them fall in love. Traits Men Find Attractive in a Woman The following are some of the traits that guys find attractive in women. The list in not in any particular order of preference, and it can be assumed that the 10 factors make an impact in unison. Soft heartedness Men are more likely to fall in love with a woman who is soft, or warm, hearted, than a woman who is cold. Guys love to be mothered (not nagged but cared for), and so they tend to fall for a woman who offers …

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9 Reasons Why Men Cheat (lifescript)

Number of View: 300   Men like Arnold Schwarzenegger, Tiger Woods, Jesse James and John Edwards had it all: talent, fame, money, and a beautiful family. Yet with everything to lose, they were accused of cheating on their wives. Why would men throw it all away? The answers may surprise you. Here are 9 reasons. Plus, will he cheat? Rate his risk with our quiz…Approximately 40% of men seek sexual satisfaction outside their relationships, estimates Kat Hertlein, Ph.D., professor of human development at the University of Nevada – Las Vegas and a marriage and family therapist. That number hasn’t changed much since 1950, when the famous Kinsey sex study found that 50% of U.S. men cheat at some point in their marriages. Why They Cheat The No.1 reason: Men crave sexual “variety,” according to David Buss, professor of psychology at the University of Texas and author of The Evolution of Desire: Strategies of Human Mating(BasicBooks).“They’ve evolved the desire to be with different women,” he says.  That’s because it’s very simple for men to reproduce (one act of sex versus nine months of pregnancy for women), so to create as many offspring as possible they’re biologically programmed to mate with many …

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Citizen married to foreigner on S Pass work permit unable to see own child

Number of View: 205   Hi Gilbert,   My brother is married to a foreigner who’s working and holding the  ‘S’ Pass work permit after marriage.   Once their baby was born, she left him and started staying separately in a rental room.   She does not have anyone to help her babysit and  since she’s working shift hours, she has a nanny to look after the baby.   They went through  counselling sessions in the syariah court. but she kept asking for divorce. so my brother agreed to her request.   Now,  they are waiting for the letter for mediation.   While waiting for the letter, my brother is not allowed to see his baby.   Whenever my brother wants to see his child,  she  rejected his request and  says that he can only see the baby  when the baby’s mom is present.   She can trust a third party – the babysitter –  to look after baby while she’s working, but she’s not allowing my brother to see his child… its very painful for him indeed.   She has also  filed a maintenance case against my brother and he  has been contributing to baby’s expenses even though she’s not living with …

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Marriage After Divorce

Number of View: 450 Marriage After Divorce by Anna Glendenning | More from this Blogger Statistics indicate that 50% of all first marriages fail but are you aware the divorce rates of second marriages are estimated to be over 70%? Maybe this explains why many people end up married three and four times before they find that person to grow old and live with until, “death do we part”. There are many reason why a second marriage has a bigger risk of failure then the first. Often, divorced people remarry quickly and find themselves living with the rebound or transitional person. Sometimes, the second marriage was entered into for emotional or security reasons following a divorce. Many times during a second divorce a person will admit they remarried for the wrong reasons, or too quickly. It could be like riding a bike–once you know how to get a divorce you may never forget. Some divorced people rush into a second marriage because they are not equipped to live life in solitude or they feel they are incomplete without a mate. My ex-husband remarried a week after our divorce was final stating that he could not live without a woman to …

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