What to Say When Talking To Your Child About Divorce

Number of View: 273 What to Say When Talking To Your Child About Divorce Talking to your child about divorce can be very difficult if you don’t know in advance what to say. I encourage you to make a checklist so you can organize your thoughts and appear calm and collected when talking to your children. Here are some starter tips to keep in mind when talking to your child about divorce… 1. There is no “best age” for divorcing – Though this is true, neurologists have proven that the brain cell structure is mainly formed between ages 1-8. Children that fit within this age range are like a sponge, absorbing everything they hear you say and see you do. If you choose to get divorced during these critical years, you’ll leave a long-lasting imprint on your child. The amount of damage done will depend on your child’s temperament. More sensitive children often take the blame for your divorce, regardless of what you say to them. Stronger willed children can turn this “terrible event” into anger towards others. The best possible scenario for your child is for you and your spouse to stay together. Consider giving your marriage a second …

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Young wife with two kids concerned about three aspects of impending divorce

Number of View: 379   Dear Gilbert   Thank you for passing my query to the lawyer.    Profile of wife:    I am 30+ years old with 2 young children. Married for a few years. Degree holder but always job hopping.   Current situation:   Currently,  my husband has moved out of matrimonal flat 3 weeks ago with my elder child. My younger child is staying with me.   Pleading case:-   1. I want custody of both my children  and maintanance of $xxxx/mth.  However he is reluctant to both demands. 2. I want him to give up his share of the house as I have insufficient monies in CPF  to return his cpf. But I have sufficient salary to sustain the total instalme.t of $xxxx per month. Definitely reluctant. 3. Now his lawyer insists my husband fight for whatever I am fighting for, including kids, maintenance and house from me.   Profile of husband:   Only child,   credit card debts, heavy smoker and drinker. non-tertiary qualifications but with good income and very very good talker, lots of friends’ support and lawyer is apparently his friend too.   1. Husband has rejected me for sex many many times  using stress as an excuse. (no evidence) 2. Slept in …

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Wife unwilling to give up 2 1/2 year-old marriage

Number of View: 202 Hi Gilbert,   I chanced upon your website while I was surfing the net to hope to find a solution to my problem.   My husband and I  have been dating since we were 18 and we got married about two and half years ago. He worked overseas after we got married and I stayed in Singapore. He came back for good last Sept.   As his career is just starting, I was hoping that he can settle his own career and we can start our own family by first with me moving to his place or we find a place of our own.   The initial plan was for me to move to his place but later as he said his mum is not easy to get along so we have plan to look for our own place. Subsequently just two weeks before CNY this year, I called him at night to tell him I am going to bed but he blew his top and said I was constantly calling him. The following day I retailated by not answering his calls. We had a huge fight and he told me he do not need a wife. I …

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The Infidelity Divorce Syndrome: Divorce Recovery After Infidelity

Number of View: 903   How does infidelity impact those who get divorced (i.e. divorce recovery) and what are their unique challenges? For the next few weeks we’ll explore life after divorce and infidelity and how it plays out for individuals who’s marriages fail as a result. This week we’ll focus on the specific barriers the betrayed spouse faces and the baggage they may carry into future relationships. Moving on after divorce, especially when infidelity is involved, is not easy. After 26 years of marriage and three beautiful children, Martha* discovered her husband was cheating on her with girls closer to her children’s ages than her own. Her first response was to kick him out. There was little or no remorse on his part. He felt she should just get over it. Eventually she invited him back, prematurely she now admits, for the sake of the kids. She wasn’t even sure what she needed to forgive given his lack of disclosure. All she knew is what her own efforts at discovery had revealed. Change was not something that interested him, in fact the only change he felt necessary was on her part; she needed to get over it, lighten up …

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Telling the Children You are Getting Divorced

Number of View: 266 Telling the Children You Are Getting Divorced Information Provided by: Divorce Source, Inc. Telling the children that Mommy and Daddy are getting a divorce draws a line in sand. Now, everyone — Mom, Dad and children — all know where they stand, and very often have no idea where they are going. Telling the children is one of the many very difficult bridges that divorcing spouses must cross. Plainly, children must be told, if for no other reason than knowing of the break between their parents is the first step in accepting this dramatic change in their life.   Depending on the family situation, children sometimes sense that their parents do not get along, and depending on the age and experience of the children, they may actually anticipate the divorce even when they cannot understand all its ramifications.  Research suggests that children reared in a high conflict home filled with verbal abuse and physical violence fare worse than children reared in a tension-free environment. For this reason, children may be “better off,” so to speak, after their parents divorce than before. Nevertheless, the day his or her parents tell a child that they are parting ways …

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Woman in legal dilemma on divorce

Number of View: 804   Hi Gilbert   My husband will be serving me a divorce paper sometime next week. He initiated this because he is having an affair with a Filipino girlfriend.   He is 50 and I am 48. I need your advice on some legal issues as I have asked a few lawyers and each one of them gave me a different view.   Moreover, the trouble is when I made enquiry with a lawyer, they immediately quote me $100 – $150 per hour of consultation and this is the lowest quote whereas a reputable law firm quoted me $350 – $450 per hour. Upon my confirmation to engage them I will need to pay a deposit of $2,500 minimum.   My husband has initiated the divorce suit  and I also served him a divorce suit , so it is now 2 divorce suits. I understand that for contested divorce the legal fee can come up to at least S$10,000 and depending on how many trial hearings are  involved – so the legal can reach up to S$20,000 as I understand as each trial session is going to cost S$5,000.   In his divorce suit,  he asked for …

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