The Spiral Process of Recovery

Number of View: 336 INTRODUCTION: Children and adults recover from the divorce experience in different ways. The recovery process for the adult is dominated by the process of “moving on,” often without necessary reflection about what went wrong, leading many to make the same mistakes again, as shown by the increased rate of divorce in second marriages. The recovery process for the child is dominated by a recurrent “revisiting” of issues and a need to discuss the past. For a child to let go of the past is to forgo a critical building block of their future. LINEAR vs. SPIRAL …

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Single parenting tips for men

Number of View: 283 A man, when he becomes a single parent to his child due to loss of his wife or by his choice of becoming single parent through adoption has to make many adjustments. Raising the child for a single father is more difficult as the father has to play the role of both mother and father. Here are some tips which will be of great help for single fathers, read on. Single parent families usually have a working parent as the sustenance of the family rests solely on the parent. When a man loses his wife or …

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Single Parenting

Number of View: 925 Single Parenting By Nombini Kutta-Mathye   Single parenting is definitely on the increase internationally. This escalation is not surprising, given the increase in the divorce statistics. I just had a telephone conversation with a divorced single-parent friend of mine. Taking care of 3 kids alone is no child’s play. As I was asking politely how she is coping, I was impressed by her energy. She has two jobs and a successful new business with a paid employee who has a company car. I was so impressed yet concerned about the time she spends with the kids. …

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Greater Than or Less Than? Dating as a Single Mother

Number of View: 252 I’m not dating anyone right now. More often than not in my life, there’s been someone. And I’m grateful for that. I don’t buy the concept that being in a relationship subtracts from one’s development as an individual. I bristle at the self-help variety of suggestion that serial monogamy is pathological, a clear sign of someone who can’t stand on his or her own two feet. Much of who I am comes from the wisdom — often painful, but just as often beautiful — gleaned from my relationships. I’ve learned what I can handle and what …

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Divorced woman felt betrayed in a failed rebound relationship

Number of View: 282 Dear Gilbert, I am really glad to see your blog. I m a divorcee with 2 kids.  I initiated the divorce and  many others felt that I deserved what I experienced now.  Even my siblings won’t talk to me now.  My husband was uninvolved in our relationship but he acted nice in front of friends and family.  Once alone, he was not there for me – he was either on the computer or in the toilet.  We were married for 14 years but we only had intimacy for less than 10 times as there were just ways …

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“The truth is, I harboured thoughts of suicide whenever I’m lonely.”

Number of View: 292  Hi Gilbert,   I found your website earlier on. I know you are not able to help, but anyway I’ll just write to you, hoping it will release some of my tensions.   Probably, I can start with what’s worrying me these few years.  I feel that my life is very miserable since I got married in 2004 – we always had issues with money. When we just got married, my husband and I have a low combined income – about $2.3k thereabout and we really struggled with our expenses. Now, he has a better job with doubled income compared …

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