Single mum happier after recent divorce

Number of View: 442We  have recently  received many emails from single parents seeking counselling assistance on  their personal issues. We are glad that Amy has granted us an online interview, allowing us a peer into the life of a recently-divorced single mother:- How long have you been married and any kids? Married in 1990 with  2 kids. What were the reasons for the divorce and how long ago was that? I have a spouse who drinks and gambles  and takes no responsibility in contributing to the family.  I have filed for divorce early  this year. You have told me that the divorce was better off for the children – any reasons why?  My divorced spouse is no longer as dominating as before during the process of the divorce proceedings and after.  He used to      make my kids  do things that they are not willing to.  Now, my ex-spouse no longer harasses  them     as probably he knows his  days are numbered staying under one roof, hence he is nicer to the kids. In the past, ex-spouse would come home drunk and harassed them.   My ex-spouse also used  to ask me for money very frequently, this has affected my moral and emotions.  My children …

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Recently separated dad distressed over visitation right for daughter

Number of View: 351Dear Gilbert, I am the one, Reluctantlyseparated, who posted the idea of a divorce support group in your website. My wife has already left the matrimonial home together with my young daughter. We have settled most of the assets, save for some small items but I have missed them very much. Informally, I have agreed to give her and my daughter a big monthly allowance in return for allowing me to  see my daughter once a week under her close supervision. She has not formalize our separation or made any steps towards divorce yet. I am very confused about what she wants and how long this will drag. I have been apologizing to her, showing her that in every way and everything she demanded, I gave in. I want to reconcile and do not want to fight. She is keeping me at bay by hiding everything from me (where they stay, her mobile no., my daughter’s schooling arrangements, etc).  I can only email her and she will only respond on administrative matters, not her feelings and what she intends to do. I am running on empty emotionally after struggling on my own for the past 4.5 months. …

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“I need your advice on handling my teenage son while going through divorce”

Number of View: 256Hi  Gilbert, My name is John,  45 years of age and   currently going through divorce proceedings . We are still living under the same roof though. I have 3 children age 14 ( boy ) , 8 ( boy ) and 7 (girl) . I have very close relationship with my children and for years I have been taking them out every weekend  for  movies , dinner,  etc. Their mother hardly joins us for the family outing. My divorce proceeding started in 2009  and during this time, my 3 children are always with me.  Most nights,  they sleep with me instead of with their mother. My three children are also agreeable to the divorce as my wife and I  have been fighting regularly for many years  and to them it is a big relief. On many occasions,  my eldest boy  doesn’t  want to join  in the activities together with us like going to the movies or dinner. He rather  spent time on his laptop or games. I always insisted that  he joined us and he did  it  abeit reluctantly. About a month ago, during one particular weekend, I insisted that  he joined us for dinner, he refused but reluctantly …

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Divorced Malay woman concerned with ex-husband’s unhealthy access to daughter

Number of View: 334Hi Gilbert, I have two  issues on shared custody that I’d like to seek help with. Issue  1 :- I have been divorced for 7 years and have legal care of my seven year old daughter. Our marriage ended after he got abusive during a quarrel and I ended up in A&E with a broken hand and  a bruised face. The court allowed him access to our daughter on his off-days. He works shift  and she’s in childcare  everyday, so basically he gets her one day during the weekend if he’s not working. Otherwise, he asks for her in the evening for like an hour or two, which most of the time I obliged. Before, I did not ask my daughter about her day as she was still too young to talk about it..But as she grows older, I always ask her how her day was..if she had fun etc…A couple of months ago, she told me that her father called me heartless..and ever since then, I have been called selfish, heartless, not a nice person etc..my daughter asked me why her father says all those things about me…because to her, I’m not like this:  *Deep in my …

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Jobless Aussie PR devastated after Singaporean wife left him for a richer man

Number of View: 229Dear Gilbert,  I never imagine that I could send you this email. I’m completely lost and I need your help. Here is my story:- I’m a Aussie PR since 2006. I met my girlfriend in March 2004. She’s a Singaporean Chinese and had a son born in 1994 from a previous marriage. We moved in together in 2005 and decided to have a baby. It took time and she got pregnant in 2007 and delivered in July 2008. We have a lovely boy, mix Aussie – Chinese and we are  a great blended family. We got married in April this year and had a big party in Sydney last June. We bought a place in February 2010 and moved in after completing the renovation in July. I  have a great and unique relationship with my 14- year-old step-son.  I lost my job in July due to a retrenchment  exercise and decided to start my own company – supported by my wife. In September, something went wrong and  she suddenly asked me to go for a break. She told me she was scared and  that she  would never be secured here …. she’s a model and over the past 7 years I …

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Regular Physical Activity Significantly Reduces Depression Risk

Number of View: 180 From Medscape Medical News > Psychiatry Regular Physical Activity Significantly Reduces Depression Risk Deborah Brauser November 5, 2010 — Participating in regular leisure-time physical activities of any intensity can lead to a decrease in depression, new research suggests. In a large population study of more than 40,000 Norwegian residents, investigators found that those who were not active during their time away from work were almost twice as likely to have symptoms of depression that those who were regularly active. “Even relatively light activity was associated with significantly less depressive symptoms,” lead study author Samuel B. Harvey, MRCPsych, MBBS, clinical lecturer in occupational and liaison psychiatry at the Institute of Psychiatry at King’s College London, United Kingdom, told Medscape Medical News. Dr. Samuel B. Harvey “Therefore, encouraging our patients to do some physical activity in their leisure time, even if it is something very light, appears likely to be of benefit,” said Dr. Harvey. The investigators note that social benefits associated with exercise, such as increased number of friends and social support, may be more important contributors to this association than biological changes. However, there was no association found between workplace exertion (such as walking or heavy …

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Father wants to gain full custody of his children after divorce

Number of View: 1383 Hi Gilbert, I am in the final stage of my divorce, about a week away from my decree absolute. We have two children, a girl nine and a boy six. Both are staying with their mother at  the grandmother’s apartment whilst I stay elsewhere. I am Swiss and my ex wife is a Singaporean Malay. In mediation we agreed on joint custody and joint care and control. Now the kids’ mum suddenly dropped a bombshell that  she is starting a job as a airline stewardess  and she will be working away from home for most of the time. I am engaging my lawyer now to get full custody of the children because of this material change in circumstances. In the past one year,  my ex wife has changed jobs three times. In the past three months,  she also spent most of the week at her boyfriend’s place and left the children with the grandmother. She made arrangements for outings with the children on some weekends only to cancel them at the last minute. Since February I have the children every weekend staying at my place, every Wednesday  I  take them out for dinner. I pay all …

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