Should marriages have an expiry date?

Number of View: 331 Should marriages have an expiry date? Alyssa McDonald, Sunday Life October 25, 2010 – 10:43AM Divorce is common, traumatic and expensive. Alyssa McDonald proposes making marriage a renewable contract rather than a lifetime promise that’s too easily broken. Dolly Parton understands divorce – or rather, D-I-V-O-R-C-E. “Pure H-E-double-L” is how she puts it, and most divorcees would agree. Who ever enjoyed the process, except perhaps divorce lawyers? It’s miserable for the former couple, worse for the kids and a guaranteed source of gloom and gossip for everyone else. It almost makes you wonder why so many of us do it. YOUR SAY: Should marriages have a built-in review clause? Advertisement: Story continues below Around a third of Australian marriages end in divorce – that’s about 50,000 couples dragging themselves through the process each year. Which is a lot, especially considering that almost a third of us never bother getting married in the first place. And the more you look at the numbers, the more that starts to look sensible: divorce costs Australians an estimated $6 billion a year. You could buy a lot of romantic weekends away with that. But while it’s tedious, pricey and capable …

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Female reader in mixed marriage contemplating separation

Number of View: 322 Dear Gilbert, I came across your website because I have been toiling with the idea of breaking free for awhile now. Too many issues have gone unresolved for my marriage. I have been married for 7 years now and we have two young children. Since day one when I knew my husband, we already have some issue with his extended  family’s  financial commitment. Mine is also a cross cultural marriage which makes it tougher due to the different cultural background. He  always felt obliged to take care of his family back home financially. He is 1 of 7 children in the family and all are educated.  So, money was and still is still an issue for us. Another   issue for me is  his attitude and background as he is from a much male-dominated kind of society. He seems to always have his mind made up about things and I never really have any choice in making important decisions together with him. If I  complain that he does not have initiative to help put the children to bed when I was exhausted after work and night class, he gets upset and said  I complained  all the time. …

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Adjusting To Reality After The Wedding

Number of View: 168 Adjusting To Reality After The Wedding Written By: Gilbert Goh While we sometimes take years to court a girl, we are hopelessly inadequate in preparing ourselves for marriage. Some have attended a few sessions of pre-marital workshops and thought that they have met the criterion to having a fulfilling marriage. Nothing is further from the truth.  We thought that when we have met the perfect loving person, we will live happily ever after as a married couple. But a rude shock awaits us when the person we love and cherish soon becomes a totally different person we knew during courtship. It is not surprising that, when the transformation becomes too appalling, many give up on their marriages using the legal non-consummation loophole to expedite the process.  Too many couples cling on to the mystical romantic love that they experienced during courtship days when entering a marriage. They failed to realize that after marriage, many couples will quickly enter into a friendship mode. Some married men will even not open the car door for their wives and holding hands only happens while crossing the road!  Newly wedded couples will also have to face the daily challenge of …

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Ex-wife Refuses Me Access To Daughter

Number of View: 631Hi Gilbert, I happened to read your article on the proposed changes to our women’s chapter, calling for mandatory counselling, with interest.   It is true that we are seeing more couples taking the  divorce route as it seems to be a quick and easy exit if one is unhappy about their marriage.   The unhappiness leading to many divorces, however,  is not due to a unfaithful partner or an abusive partner, which can be said to be a clear-cut case.   I guessed as a society progresses, some of us are becoming more demanding even on our partner.   A  ‘me-first’ attitude – created knowingly or unknowingly, having high expectations of our partner, low tolerance level, becoming unforgiving, etc are all common  factors leading to the break up of a marriage nowadays.   I happen to fall into this category.   My wife and I now live separately. I did not give consent to the divorce  and  am still trying to seek for a possible reconcillation with her.   She came from a single-parent family and noticed that she seems to carry this fatherless family-baggage  into the marriage. I am worried that this may cascade down to the next generation.   Currently, my wife also …

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