Woman regretful about her broken marriage

Number of View: 673 Hi Gilbert, I don’t know where to start…I have ruined my marriage with my own hands, my own mind. When I have regained my consciousness and correct state of mind, it’s too late.  Everything has changed and cannot be undone now. The guilt in me stays on till now and I can’t forgive myself at all. Let me elaborate more here. Five years ago, my hubby and I married after almost 10 years of friendship. We were very happy and loving towards one another. At that time, I was also very happy working in my previous company A with good prospects. I love my job scope, my colleagues and the company culture. My husband proposed to me in March 2006. I was very delighted and accepted his proposal. Actually, he wanted to get married in the year 2006, but it was very rush and we were very unprepared still. Moreover,  our finances were still  not very stable. Therefore, I tried very hard to persuade him to postpone the wedding  to a later date so that  we could have some savings. He reluctantly agreed to it.   It seemed that  all good things have  to end one day …

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Goodbye, sweet Pom

Number of View: 273 Jun 20, 2010 Goodbye, sweet Pom Not even our love could give this poor pomeranian a longer life than she was destined to have By Sumiko Tan   In the end, she got only a year’s reprieve. Nine days ago, I had to put Pom to sleep. She was the pomeranian who made the news last year after she was found stuffed inside a plastic bag and dumped in East Coast. Luckily, some dog lovers stumbled on the bag and saved her. That was on June 5. My mother and I adopted her a month later. She was probably around eight years old, nobody knows for sure. The end came quickly. Up till April, she was doing well. She was eating, sleeping, running and barking. When she came to us, she weighed less than 3kg and could barely walk because of a nerve problem in her legs. Her hair had been shorn by a groomer because it had been matted with her faeces. Over the months, she blossomed. Her golden moment lasted from October to March. She put on weight and her hair started growing out and, my, what a beautiful mane she had. It was …

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A love story

Number of View: 312Jun 20, 2010 A love story Love at first sight is romantic but may not hold a candle to love that lasts a lifetime & is for better or for worse By Lee Wei Ling An advertisement for the ‘Sassy Miss 2010 Workshop Series’ in The Straits Times caught my eye recently. The headline was: ‘The Power of First Impressions.’ The text claimed: ‘It takes just 30 seconds for your first date or prospective employer to form an everlasting impression of you. So flash your X-factor, from the way you look to the style in which you carry yourself. Come uncover all the trade secrets of image-making at this power workshop!’ I was amused. If I want to make an impression, it would be to show my competence, sincerity, pragmatism and willingness to fight for what is right. My appearance and how I carry myself are highly unlikely to make an impression in a 30-minute encounter, let alone a 30-second ‘flash’. As for assessing someone on the first encounter, it would take me at least five to 10 minutes to appraise a person. I do not base my judgment on whether the person is good-looking or how …

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Maybe baby? Not yet

Number of View: 267 Jun 13, 2010 Maybe baby? Not yet By Fiona Chan When a couple gets to a certain stage in a marriage – say one or two years in, just as ‘I do’ is starting to turn into ‘do it yourself’ – a curious thing happens. Strange little lifeforms begin to pop up everywhere, like a squad of sinister stalkers that are impossible to ignore. This species is extremely devious. To disarm you, they take the shape of small, plump, blob-like creatures that make you want to pinch their chubby cheeks and go ‘oooh, coochie-coochie-coooo’. To be fair, these cunning critters – or, as humans call them, ‘babies’ – are generally benign. But once you reach your late 20s or 30s, especially if you’re married, they start to become a real danger. Their mission: To brainwash you into having babies of your own so they can multiply and one day take over the world. The irresistible cuteness is all part of their crafty plan. One moment you’re gazing into their big baby eyes, and the next thing you know one of them has invaded your body and exploded into being, taking over your consciousness, your brain and, …

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Why Are You Single? Perhaps It’s The Choice Effect

Number of View: 445 Tim Ferriss – Why Are You Single? Perhaps It’s The Choice Effect My good female friend picked up her third glass of Syrah-Merlot and continued: “If I could only choose between three decent guys, it’d be a done deal. I’d be married already.” I nodded. Having options–perceived infinite choice–isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. How, then, do you tame indecision, particularly in relationships? The following guest post, written by Claire Williams, explores some of the more successful approaches… and realizations. ********* In 2000, Drs. Sheena S. Iyengar and Mark R. Lepper set up a tasting booth at an upscale grocery store in California. On some days, they put out a selection of six types of jam; on other days they set out twenty-four. Although the wider selection attracted more shoppers, more people bought the jam when there were fewer options. It seemed the more choices people had, the harder it was to make a decision. The Paradox of Choice explored this infamous dilemma, in which having more options tends to leave us paralyzed and increase our buyer’s remorse. But what does that mean when you’re not just shopping? What about when you’re doing much more …

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Double whammy – Divorced and jobless

Number of View: 265 Hi Gilbert, I have been divorced for nearly a year already. However, the recovery process seems to take forever. It’s like you thought that you are able to move on in your life and then some court matters surface, and you are back to a wreck again…. and have to go through the whole emotional stages again…grief, denial, acceptance etc. Its really a horrible experience. Anyone out there has gone to any support group? I am keen to join one to know that I am not alone in this journey.  I need to maintain my sanity for the sake of my 6 year old daughter. My ex is still staying in our  matrimonial home that I have being paying for for the last 7 years and he still refused to move out. The court is taking forever in the ancillary matters. But thank God it is finally coming to an end. I pray that the ancillary matters can be settled finally in late July during the court hearing and I can finally sell off my property and settle some of his debts that he left me with. I am staying with my mum now. Moreover, I am currently unemployed and …

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Are all marriages doomed?

Number of View: 477 Nobel Peace Prize laureate Al Gore and his wife Tipper arriving at the Nobel Banquet at the Grand Hotel in Oslo in 2007. A recent survey showed that women initiate two-thirds of divorces among older couples. — PHOTO: REUTERS Jun 6, 2010 Are all marriages doomed? The end of the Gores’ 40-year union has left Americans wondering if anything is sacred By Bhagyashree Garekar, US Correspondent Washington: What with the Big Spill and the Big Split, Americans are in a deep funk these days. How could the combined might of American technology and the full force of the White House not be able to fix a broken oil pipe? And how could former vice-president Al Gore’s storybook marriage, one that apparently inspired the Erich Segal cult novel Love Story, come to an abrupt end? In a country long inured to the daily destruction of celebrity marriages, the Gores’ split-up has left millions wondering: Is nothing safe or sacred any more? This was, after all, a 40-year union. And this was how Mr Gore, in the midst of his 2000 presidential election campaign, described his marriage with Tipper: It’s ‘a communion that just became a lot deeper …

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Sex And Divorce

Number of View: 241 Heart & Mind:  Taking Control    Jun 2, 2010 SEX AND DIVORCE By Angel La LiberteCoping with divorce and the prospect of new sexual relationships can be emotionally challenging, to say the least. Here’s a look at some of the pitfalls and opportunities you’ll encounter as you rebuild your sex life. When it comes to divorce and new relationships, there’s a memorable line from the 1989 Rob Reiner film, When Harry Met Sally. Soon-to-be-married Marie and Jess have each just gotten off the phone from consoling their single friends, Harry and Sally, who are suffering the tremors of emotional uncertainty brought on by the aftermath of their first sexual encounter together. Afterward, Marie turns to Jess and pleads: “Please tell me I will never have to be out there again!” That we understand this sentiment should come as no surprise. When married, our sexual routine was a safe bet. We either had sex or we didn’t. We were familiar with our partner’s moves, and we knew what was expected of us. Whatever else it may have been, it was safe. And our needs were — to varying extents, depending on the partnership — being met. After a …

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