Recession Takes Its Emotional Toll on Cities

Number of View: 307 By Prashant Gopal February 26, 2009, 2:11PM EST The economic downturn could lead to higher crime, divorce, alcohol and drug abuse, depression, and suicide Business week Leslie Storm, director of an Oregon suicide helpline, is scrambling to find shelter for a cash-strapped 52-year-old man who says he will hang himself by the end of the week. The man, who could not work for a couple of months because of a medical condition, told Storm that he is behind on his rent and his roommate plans to kick him out Feb. 26. It is the kind of situation she is dealing with more in these days of rising unemployment and evictions. “He’s telling me that he is slipping through the cracks, and it breaks my heart,” says Storm, director of the crisis line program of the Oregon Partnership. “He has medical problems and says he can’t go live under a bridge.” The Oregon suicide and drug and alcohol help lines received 71% more calls in January 2009 than it did the previous January, including more calls from people having suicidal thoughts because of severe financial stress, Storm said. Promoting Awareness The federal government and nonprofit advocacy groups …

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Reader’s Mail: Wife left me when I was jobless

Number of View: 269  Hi Gilbert, Six years ago, I married my love  after dating  for about  a year. Everything seemed smooth sailing at first as most married couples would experience. It was our so-called honeymoon period when everything was beautiful and you only live for one another. If only such honeymoon days could last forever… We  also had a memorable honeymoon  trip to New Zealand. The first three  years of our marriage were sweet memories and we hardly had any issue  with one other. However, I realized soon that our marriage was gradually influenced by someone important in my wife’s life…her dad. He’s a fiercely stubborn man and has a strong  influence on her life. A lot of her ideas seem to bear  some flavours of her idol dad and you can say that she worshipped him a lot. Nevertheless, all this was manageable as I tried to be more forebearing towards her – except for one other matter. All along, my wife  wanted a lot of financial security in the family. I don’t blame her. I can understand  as I heard that women are pretty much hung up on having a lot of security in their lives. Call …

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Ten Things Women Forget to Do During Sex

Number of View: 440 Ten Things Women Forget to Do During Sex By: The Frisky (View Profile)  When it comes to men and sex, I’ve noticed that special requests usually come along the lines of an instant upgrade: if I’m giving a hand job, they ask for a blowjob, and if I’m giving a blowjob, well, why not full-on sex? That’s simple enough for me to handle if it makes sexytime shine. But we’re all about equality here at TheFrisky.com and it wouldn’t be very egalitarian of us to hinthintHINT to our dudes with our Ten Things Men Forget to Do During Sex list  without engaging in a little self-improvement ourselves. After the jump, we asked a few men—who, let it be known, all said “Don’t forget to touch our balls!”—to help us out. 1. Vocalize your enjoyment! Listening to a woman bellow in ecstasy “I’m … COOOOOOOMING!” is as good, if not better, than the sex itself. 2. … but don’t forget that other people in house/apartment nearby will hear you, especially if he is awkward about that sort of thing. 3. NO. TEETH. (What are you, eighteen? You should know that by now, really.) 4. Offering to let him …

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Reader Feeling Suicidal Over Separation

Number of View: 203 Hi Gilbert I have been separated now from my wife and daughter for almost a year. I had hoped that the pain and suffering, and the constant mind debate for suicide would have subsided by now. But it seems that whatever I try to do deter these thoughts of hopelessness, nothing seems to work – although the thing that has kept going is my work. For a woman who is intelligent and level headed, as is my wife, I must have been a loser and  a monster, as being the father of our  daughter  I can no longer be a part of their daily lives. I fell deeply in love with my wife, and I m still deeply in love with her regardless. My love for my daughter is unprecedented obviously. On the positive side, my wife does allows me access to my daughter, although my frequent travelling  in my job does not allow me to see her as often as I want.  Nevertheless, I work hard at trying to see her as much as I can. Frankly, it is this that keeps me going. I am trying to think of ways to be a better person. …

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Helping your kids cope with the effects of separation and divorce (helpguide)

Number of View: 502 Helping your kids cope with the effects of separation and divorce For children, divorce can be stressful, sad, and confusing. At any age, kids may feel uncertain about what life will be like, or angry at the prospect of Mom and Dad splitting up for good. Divorce isn’t easy, but as a parent you can make the process and its effects less painful for your children. Helping your kids cope with your divorce means providing stability in your home and attending to your children’s physical and emotional needs with a reassuring, positive attitude. To make this happen, you’ll need to take care of yourself—and work as peacefully as possible with your ex. It won’t be a seamless process, but your children can move forward feeling confident in your unconditional love.  In This Article: Supporting your child What to tell your kids Listen and offer reassurance Provide stability and structure Take care of yourself Work with your ex Know when to seek help Related links Print  Authors Text Size A parent’s guide to supporting your child through a divorce As a parent, it’s normal to feel uncertain about how to give your children the right support through …

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Suddenly single – divorce during pregnancy (pregnancytoday.com)

Number of View: 757 Diane Danielson of Cohasset, Mass., wasn’t feeling well, but attributed it to stress. After all, she and her husband were talking about divorce. Then she found out she was nearly 3 months pregnant. Divorced by the time her only child was born, she knows all too well what it’s like to deal with a breakup during a pregnancy. “My biggest coping mechanism was denial [of the pregnancy],” Danielson says. “I hid the whole thing until I was almost 6 months pregnant – the guys at work just thought I was porking out because of the divorce.” Tips on Coping Danielson has some tips for women coping with a breakup during pregnancy: Distract yourself with “non-negotiable passions” – something that can’t be taken away from you that’s so absorbing that you can block out all the “noise” at least a few times a week. For Danielson, that was work and sports. Pamper yourself. Danielson got her hair done and bought some nice maternity clothes for work, “because one of the hardest things was that no one was around who was required to tell me I was still the same beautiful person I always was,” she says. Surround yourself with …

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Coping with a Breakup or Divorce (helpguide)

Number of View: 398 It’s never easy when a marriage or other significant relationship ends. Whatever the reason for the split – and whether or not you wanted it – the breakup of a long-term, committed relationship can turn your whole world upside down and trigger all sorts of painful and unsettling feelings. But there are things you can do to get through this difficult time. Even in the midst of the sadness and stress of a divorce or breakup, you have an opportunity to learn from the experience and grow into a stronger, wiser person. In This Article: Healing after a divorce or breakup Allow yourself to grieve Reach out to others Take care of yourself Learning important lessons Related links Print  Authors Text Size Healing after a divorce or breakup Why do breakups hurt so much, even when the relationship is no longer good? A divorce or breakup is painful because it represents the loss, not just of the relationship, but also of shared dreams and commitments. Romantic relationships begin on a high note of excitement and hope for the future. When these relationships fail, we experience profound disappointment, stress, and grief. A breakup or divorce launches us …

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How to heal the pain of a divorce (helium.com)

Number of View: 255 Regardless of the circumstances, there is a great deal of pain that comes with any divorce. We feel betrayed, we may have been physically, emotionally or financially abused, our lives have been disrupted, our hopes and dreams trampled, our trust torn apart. We may have lost our homes, jobs, friends – even the support of our family and community. We may feel angry, alone and afraid of the future. Even if the divorce was primarily your fault, you will be experiencing pain – guilt because of the hurt you caused, a sense of loss if you have limited contact with your children, if you have lost your job or social standing due to a moment’s weakness, frustration at being unable making the changes you needed make to keep your marriage intact. Here are some do’s and don’ts for dealing with your pain, regardless of your situation: – Do Get Help If you need help getting over the pain of divorce, get it. If you just need to sit and talk with friends, fine – if you are suffering from severe depression, panic attacks, thoughts of suicide or harming others, seek professional help. If you can’t afford …

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Children of Divorce: Father’s Absence

Number of View: 536 Although it might be correct to be gender-neutral and discuss parental absence, the fact remains that in approximately 90% of divorced families, the children remain with the mother. This outcome stems from a legal precedence, often cited as the “doctrine of tender years,” which states that children up to 6 years of age rely most heavily on the mother to best provide for the children’s physical and developmental needs. This precedence has been replaced by the “best interest standard,” which is still heavily weighted in favor of the parent who has spent the most time with the children in the past, rather than in favor of the parent better able to provide for the child in the present or future. This standard overwhelmingly favors the mother.[7] American society extols equality of the sexes in the workplace, but the grocery aisles and playground paths still consider fathers to be second-choice parents. Men are considered amateurs at nurturing, whereas women are the professionals. There is no maternal instinct. New mothers know how to care for a baby only if they have watched another mother doing it. A study of monkeys raised without a mother showed that the new monkey …

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Children’s Responses to Divorce (medscape)

Number of View: 320 Many studies have shown that children of divorce have more behavioral and conduct problems when compared with the children in intact two-parent families.[1] They have more aggressive, impulsive, and antisocial behaviors and more problems in their relationships with their mothers and fathers. They exhibit lower academic achievement, with three of four children showing a deterioration from their previous school performance. Children who experience the divorce at younger ages are more likely to have problems. Divorced boys living with their fathers and divorced daughters living with their mothers showed fewer effects than children living with the opposite-sex parent.[9] Not all responses to marital disruption are deleterious. Research has consistently shown that children from divorced families exhibit less stereotyped sex behavior, greater maturity, and greater independence.[7] The more recent and more sophisticated the study, the less difference the study showed between children of intact families and children of divorce. Perhaps this finding is the result of divorce being widespread today. Divorced families are more common, less different, and less stigmatized. They are more recognized and accepted by society and have generated a more open support system. While the differences between children of divorce and children of intact families …

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