Higher marital break up – our modern society to be blamed? (Pt 2)

Number of View: 213 Written by: Gilbert Goh Personal Experience  Having being married for 16 years and constantly finding ways to enhance our marriage despite the regular ups and downs, I have decided to write this book to help people to enhance their marriage. I will include some of my own personal struggles and hope that you can identify with them. Mine is not a perfect marriage and can never be. I hope that we can learn from one another here.  Don’t get me wrong – I am no guru in this subject. In fact, I have struggled in my marriage for many years and we have being through a very rough patchy journey together like many other normal marriages. Careers, children and differences have all contributed to a deep wedge at the relationship. How we react to changes in our partners is also crucial to our marital wellbeing.  We marry someone whom we thought  is our ideal partner but the person may change along the years. How we react to such changes is also important as it may mean a psychological acceptance or rejection of our soul mate. Personally, I have this problem as I find it difficult to …

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What is it with Men and Commitment, Anyway? (Smart Marriages)

Number of View: 483What is it with Men and Commitment, Anyway? Scott M. Stanley, PhDUniversity of Denver Citation:  Stanley, S. M. (2002, July).  What is it with Men and Commitment, Anyway?Keynote address to the 6th Annual Smart Marriages Conference.  Washington D. C. This paper was given as a keynote address to the 2002 Annual Smart Marriages Conference in Washington D. C. The referencing has been updated as of November, 2004 to reflect works that were in press or under review that have been published since the time of the address. The paper reflects the structure of my thought and comments in the address, though, as a paper, it has the luxury of greater detail on a number of key points compared to the address.  The flow is also slightly different from the address so as to improve readability of the paper.  The recorded talk (#752-P6) is available on audio or video through Playback Now at 800-241-785 or at http://www.playbacknow.com/cmfce.  The footnotes in this paper contain references to findings in research that are consistent with, or further bolster, the points being made but that were not available to me at the time of the address or that I thought would be …

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Higher Marital Break up – Our Modern Society To Be Blamed? (Pt 1)

Number of View: 329 Written by: Gilbert Goh One in three marriages break up in our country and the situation does not look like it’s going to improve. Many friends around me have also thrown in the marital towel and are on their own now licking their wounds.  Some have ended their marriages lasting  more than ten years of relationship. So what happened here?  Many people have suggested to me that keeping a marriage going on is like running a marathon. You have to put in a lot of effort and energy to maintain the relationship and like in a marathon, many feel like giving up half way as it is a tiring and painful journey. Having ran several marathons before, I agreed with their views.  It is not difficult to find the reasons for our society’s dismal divorce rate which has accelerated past the roof during the past few years. In fact, the modern highly-esteemed lifestyle of most developed countries  has directly contributed to the demise of our marriages.  Our fast paced materialistic society and the constant focus on acquiring wealth have eroded the priority placed on relationship building. Couples belonging to the modern nuclear family unit spend more …

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Introduction To Steady Marriages

Number of View: 315 I started this blogsite with the intention to provide a platform for people in difficult marriages to network and hopefully  find possible esources to iron out their differences with their spouses. One in three marriages in Singapore will eventually break up and at least 7000 families will end their relationship with each other yearly. Counting at least each family has one child each and we are looking at 21,000 people facing life without the warmth of a happy family each year. People growing up in dysfunctional families face issues of various kinds. For children, the impact is greater when their idealistic dream of a happy family is fatally dashed once their parents decide to go their separate ways.  It is well documented that children growing up in dysfunctional families often turn into juvenile delinquents as they face the challenge of growing up in a single-parent family setting. Many internalize their frustrations and have deep seated self esteem issues. All this affect their ability to fully realise their potential while they are gtowing up. Some even experience similar marital difficulties not unlike what their parents have encountered. Enough of all the negative news here. This site hopes to accomplish the …

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