Man heartbroken by wife who has an affair and wants a divorce

Number of View: 241 Hi Gilbert, I’m not sure whether this counselling service would be of any difference for the one that I’ve had before and also if I’m ready for that. It’s hard for me to move on as the memories with my wife still linger in my mind. Those happy thoughts makes it harder for me to let it go. I realised that I do need help but I just couldn’t bring myself to accept that everything is over. Just googled through the internet and successfully found out about this support group. I’m really unsure how to begin but I’m unofficially separated from my wife. We’ve been happily married for 11 years with 1 kid except that I do realised that I can’t controlled my anger but definitely not till the extend of verbally or emotionally abused my wife. Yeap, we do quarrelled sometimes but everything is ok after a few hours. Everything changes early this year when she tried to avoid talking or going out with me and its getting worse early February. She totally shut me out until I received SMS from her that she want a divorced!! Its totally heartbreaking and I’m torn into pieces…..and how …

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Woman married for 35 years concerned about wayward husband

Number of View: 624 I am Tracy here and feeling very very depressed over my husband’s consistent betrayal. We have been married for almost 35 years and in all these years, its either he is having affairs with divorcees or with married women. He also visited prostitutes in Geylang and do group sex. During the earlier years, he also often indulged in viewing pornography and doing online sex talks with those women over internet. He even got the guts to tell those women that as long the husband returns home, its ok to sleep with any women outside i.e one night stand is no problem to him. Now that we are old, I am 60 and he is 62, he keep making unpleasant remarks about me and say hurting things such as I cannot give him sex anymore, so he needs to find younger women outside. Lately, for the past half year or so he is very engrossed with Whatsapp chatting, always using his hp to do messaging. He used to work part-time, (3 and half days) but now always say he need to work during his days off. Suspect he is seeing women outside for sex…don’t known whether it …

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Mother fears imprisonment due to failure to hand over child to father in a court order

Number of View: 1444 Hi Gilbert, I am writing to you as I had gotten your email from Singapore Support Site for The Divorced. I am not sure if you can help me in my question. I have received a summon to attend Court as I did not allow the Child’s Father to see him. Now the other party wants the Court to imprison me as there was a contempt of the order on my end. The reason I did not follow the order was because I do not feel safe for my boy to be given to him non-supervised for 3 hours. He had made numerous reports to police that I have abused the child etc. And before he has also taken the child away from me refusing to return him and the police were not able to get involved as this is deemed a domestic affair. Please advise me if I will be imprisoned due to this. I still have another 3 children from my previous marriage that I am supporting. In fact, the other party has not been giving me Child Maintenance ever since the birth of his child. He only paid once when I made a …

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Young couple suffers from a sexless marriage and seeking assistance

Number of View: 495 Hi Gilbert I came across your site online while searching for counsellors, and I’m hoping you can help me in some way. I don’t exactly know how this works as I’ve never done this before, but here’s my story in brief. I’m an Indian professional, working and living in Singapore with my Indian husband. He is also working but from home. We both come from well-educated well-to-do families in India, both are 30 years and have been together for the last 7 years – married for last 3. Our story goes smooth – met while in college, then our jobs in India and both decided to do masters from US. I was there for 3 years and he for 2 – he came in a year later. Then after his MBA he got a job in Singapore that he loved, so though I had a very good job in US, I left it to come to Singapore. This was my choice, as we had been living apart for 3 years (got married in between) and I wanted to finally start our life together. I found another job in Singapore and all was set. Life was as …

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Mum with young child feeling anxious and lost before a impending divorce

Number of View: 847 Hi Gilbert Thank you for your reply. Would it be ok if I asked a few more questions? At this moment, I still feel so lost and quite honestly scared. If I’m not a working mother right now, is there any chance my husband can last minute twist his words and not want to give me custody of my daughter? I seriously doubt he would be agreeable to me not refunding his CPF. How does it work if I do not refund his CPF upon a divorce? Does that mean, the CPF portion will auto be refunded to him only when I sell the flat next time? Regarding my child’s maintenance, he said he will give me a small lump sum which will be able to last me till she goes to primary 1. That’s only 2.5 years from now. I asked him then what happens after that? He answered, then he will think again. Can he actually do things this way? I feel my world already crumbling and now the future looks even more depressing. He has already move out from the house. You mentioned that I’m also entitled to maintenance. How does a court rule …

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Wife receives SMS text on divorce from husband and seeking assistance

Number of View: 808 My husband send me a SMS stating that he is preparing to file for a divorce with me and will inform me the date to go to the lawyer firm. I am agreeable to the divorce – would I need to engage a lawyer? Gilbert: Yes it will be advisable if you approach a lawyer for legal advice. You can also approach Legal Aid for the poor but your income must be below $1500/month and below. There is a one-off minimal payment of a few hundred if I am not wrong. Getting a lawyer will ensure that your legal right as a ex-spouse is protected during the divorce proceeding so you won’t lose out in any situation. I have 2 grown up children 20 and 18 and both are not working and there is no property – can I apply for maintenance? Gilbert: Yes I believe you can apply for maintenance for your grown-up children if they are not working subject to a age limit. However, there are cases whereby children who study in university still can get maintenance after age 21 years old – the legal age for adult. My gal and myself have been …

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Woman struggling with a divorce and seeking support group assistance

Number of View: 836 Hi Gilbert I am in the process of going through a divorce. As both my boys are taking the PSLE this year, my soon to be ex-hubby and me are aligned to keep it under wraps and not “announced” till they complete this critical phase of their educational journey. As such we are trying to still act as normal at home, in front of my kids and my parents. Nobody in my family knows at all. Hence it is quite a struggle for me especially when it’s a case of him committing adultery and he has some one else. I want to move on as I know he is no longer with me. And, I do not want to be in an emotional roller coaster wreck…which can’t be easily controlled at times. As I was surfing through looking for support group, I chanced upon your site. Definitely a great place to be in to be able to see, hear, read and listen to others. I am finding your data bank very helpful. Thank you for setting this up. Could you put me on the joining list for the 5-week support group program. Hoping it will help …

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Remarried man seeking assistance on downward variation of $1000 maintenance

Number of View: 891 Dear Mr. Gilbert, Hope that you take your time to understand the situation that I am facing for the past years. Paying a maintenance is part of my responsible but putting it all on me is just not fair. I have another family to support and each time I seek for variation it just does not work as my ex-wife claims that she is not working. She is being unreasonable enough each time we go to court. I am at her mercy Mr. Gilbert, I do not know what to do and it is very stressful for me. This morning she asked for additional monies for upcoming Raya when I just lapsed previous month maintenance due to moving into Singapore expenses. She knew that I can’t afford, she knew that any additional expenses will effect me financially but she did it on purpose. My take home pay is around $2400 and after maintenance deduction I left with $1400. With $1400 I need to pay for bills, groceries for my family of 6, kids milk, pampers and my daily expenses. I have no savings at all. I really need someone who can assist me on the matter …

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Dating After Divorce

Number of View: 305 Dating After Divorce Andre Cross Celibacy is one thing after a long relationship, but jumping back into the dating game after having been to the altar is quite another. A few important guidelines should be followed in order to achieve a successful return to the world of dating and mating. You need not follow them to the tee, but they will help make the transition easier. You have to get your dating muscle in shape by preparing during the last stages of your divorce, for when you’re finally single and getting into your first relationship. last stages of the divorce The last leg of the divorce process involves settling all the paperwork and getting things in order. As the divorce is not final, you must be sure to behave and keep your pecker tucked away. Having romantic encounters during the last stages of your official and final separation can have disastrous effects on the divorce. It’s a good idea to avoid dating altogether before the divorce is finalized. Not only will it save you some explanation in court as to why you were eager as a beaver, but it will also speed up the process and …

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How to Deal With The Other Man or Other Woman

Number of View: 338 In general, society looks at the other man or other woman as being the responsible party in an affair. It’s understandable that they become the target for the rage and anger the deceived spouse feels. Blaming the them keeps us from having to take responsibility for the problems in the marriage and our own feelings, so we like to pretend that if it hadn’t been for that other person there would have never been an affair. Problem is, there would have been, it just would have been a different “other” person. How you handle the fact that there is another man or woman has a great deal to do with whether or not you end up in divorce court or, are able to save your marriage. I have a few suggestions that will help save your sanity and possibly your marriage. Don’t Make The Other Person More Important Than They Are: He/she happened to be in the right spot at the right time. They are nothing special. Your spouse was looking for an affair, not looking for them in particular. They are not superior to you, they are simply different from you. You are the husband …

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